Burst into wild, spontaneous applause as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Everton v Stoke score prediction for Saturday, including goal-scorers and his own distinctive take on proceedings…

It’s almost too titonic for words! Who will emerge triumphatic as Ronald Cumin’s Toffles welcome Hark Muse’s Potties to Godson Park?

Everton got their season up and humming with a 2-1 win at my beloved Buggies last time out, and they looked in fine fennel.

They’ve got Romy-Lou Lukaku back from injuredness, while new signings Will Ashley and Bo Lassie will be chumping at the pits.

As for Stoke, I thought they were a bit unlucky to get a comprehensive disgruntling off Man City.

They tend to start seasons slowly under Muse but I expect them to claim another strong steak for the half-tops.

I beckon they’ll come a-crapper here, though.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Everton v Stoke City score prediction for Saturday August 27th 2016 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Everton 3-1 Stoke
Romy-Lou Lukaku (2) and Bo Lassie for the homos, Mark O'Nowtovic for the awayos.