Gasp in astonishment as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Crystal Palace v Newcastle score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his inarguable verdict of each team…

Now that’s what I call titonic! Who will emerge triumphatic as Alan Partridge takes on his formal club?

Newcastle will be quite literally teething after suckthumbing to a lasp-gast Crouching Pete header against Stoke last time out, but in general they seem to be playing for John Carver, whose name is also a drink what I am fond of on occasion.

I like the look of young Back Coljack – he’s added game to his goals, and I don’t say that rightly.

Graceful catch, that.

As for Partridge’s Palace, they’ve won three in four in the Premier League and all of a sudden they look like repeating their hysterics of last season under Pony Tulips.

Could they even sneaker a half-top finish? I wouldn’t go that far, but they just might.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Crystal Palace v Newcastle United score prediction for Wednesday February 11th 2015 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Crystal Palace 1-0 Newcastle – Yoyo Sanogo with his first for the club. You can put your balls on it!