I’m Mystic Megson, I am, and when I predict the weekend’s Premier League results, people listen. Just because I’m currently battling for promotion to the Championship with Sheffield Wednesday – and doing a bloody good job of it too, thank you very much – it doesn’t mean that I don’t still know my onions when it comes to picking apart the greatest league in the world. I have managed in it, you know, and on more than one occasion. Now hang your hat on this lot, lads…

Norwich City v Chelsea, Saturday 12.45pm

Back-to-back away wins has had the Canaries chirping like nobody’s business, and who can blame them? Paul Lambert’s doing a wonderful job and I reckon he’s pulled a blinder in signing Leeds United’s captain, Jonny wotsisname. Just stay away from my lads, mate! What is it about Scottish managers, eh? Must be something in the oatmeal up there. Tremendous stuff.

Last week, I predicted that Norwich City would draw 2-2 at West Bromwich Albion, so I was only one goal off. As for both sets of supporters singing my name in unison, I reckon that happened and good luck proving otherwise.

As for Chelsea, that Villas-Boas seems like a nice enough lad but he’s barely out of nappies. Take it from an elder statesman, sonny – you need more than just a sharp suit and the ability to squat without doing your knees all kinds of worry to succeed in this game! I see the club have just brought in three young brothers from Luton Town. I can’t really comment as I haven’t seen them play but, at 12, 12 and 13 years old, I wouldn’t expect them to be thrown in just yet. Perhaps they can keep Villas-Boas company on the swings! Chortle.

I correctly predicted last week that Chelsea would beat Sunderland 1-0 and I even got the goal-scorer correct. Suffice it to say, there were wild scenes in the Megson household. I even slipped a little single malt into my pre-Match of the Day Bovril to celebrate. Get in, Meggo!

Mystic Megson says: 1-1, goals apiece from Holt and Lampard. You can hang your house on it, lads.