I’m Mystic Megson, I am, and when I predict the weekend’s Premier League results, people listen. Just because I’ve been unfairly sacked by Sheffield Wednesday despite sitting 3rd in League One, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still know my onions when it comes to picking apart the greatest league in the world. I have managed in it, you know, and on more than one occasion. Now hang your hat on this lot, lads…

Liverpool vs Arsenal, Saturday 12.45pm

You know why he’s called King Kenny, don’tcha? ‘Cause he’s doing a ‘King good job, that’s why. Carling Cup and top half of the Barclays Premier Leauge? I’ll take that, thank you very much. Back of the net, son. Speaking of which, have you seen this hilarious gif?

Chortle! Eh? I don’t care how many times you say you’ve been emailed that already – it gets funnier every time in old Meggo’s book. Flew like a cow over the moon, that one did. Out of this world, and I do mean out of this world.

As for Arsenal, they were back with more bangers against Spurs than the missus after her weekly shop. 5-2, eh? Crikey. Thought that Thomas Radzinski had a belter, and it was nice to see young Walcott sticking it to the doubtfires with a two-goal savlon. If he can show that kind of consistency every game, he’ll be second to none and half-a-dozen of the other. Literally magic.

Mystic Megson says: 2-1 Liverpool, Kuyt at the double and van Persie in reply. Oh, and I foresee Kenny being so impressed by my prediction that he offers me a coaching role at the club. It’s not beyond the elms of possibility – we have a mutual friend in Sammy Lee, and it’s all about who you know in this game. Well, Sammy’s more of an acquaintance – we had a little chat when I replaced him as manager of Bolton Wanderers, and I think we hit it off. Must give him a poke on Facebook.