I’m Mystic Megson, I am, and when I predict the weekend’s Premier League results, people listen. Just because I’m currently battling for promotion to the Championship with Sheffield Wednesday – and doing a bloody good job of it too, thank you very much – it doesn’t mean that I don’t still know my onions when it comes to picking apart the greatest league in the world. I have managed in it, you know, and on more than one occasion. Now hang your hat on this lot, lads…
Fulham v Newcastle United, Saturday 3pm
That was poor from Fulham last week. I’ve got a lot of time for Martin Jol – he looks like he could sink a few pints of Black Sheep and still lead a horse to water – but you can’t be going down 3-1 to a ten-man bottom three side. I wouldn’t be having Philipe Senderos in the side ahead of Aaron Hughes either. Is Hughesy injured or summat? Doesn’t seem right to me. C’mon Martin, sort it out lad, then let’s go grab a few jars at the Pelican and Whistle. I’m here for you mate, that’s all I’m saying.
Last week, I said Fulham would lose 2-1 at Blackburn Rovers, so I was only one goal off. Speck of dust on the old crystal football, I should imagine.
As for Newcastle United, by gum they’re making a good crack of it, aren’t they? I haven’t trusted Alan Pardew since he left a high-five of mine hanging at the 2006 LMA Awards – I just wanted to congratulate him on almost winning the FA Cup, for heaven’s sake – but you’ve got to hand it to him, they’re hanging in there and getting results despite not playing well. I see they’ve just signed another striker called Demba to replace the one who’s gone the African Cup. I thought that was amazing, but the missus weren’t so impressed for some reason. Balls to her.
Last week, I said Newcastle United would draw 1-1 at home to Queens Park Rangers, with Joey Barton – who else? – getting the goal for Mark Hughes’ men. Of course I forgot he was suspended for sort of not quite head-butting that lad, and if I’d remembered that then I’d have correctly predicted the Magpies to win 1-0. Damned dusty ball.
Mystic Megson says: 2-0 Fulham, couple of headers from the American boy what keeps getting ’em. Mount your piano on that lot, lads!