I’m Mystic Megson, I am, and when I predict the weekend’s Premier League results, people listen. Just because I’m currently battling for promotion to the Championship with Sheffield Wednesday – and doing a bloody good job of it too, thank you very much – it doesn’t mean that I don’t still know my onions when it comes to picking apart the greatest league in the world. I have managed in it, you know, and on more than one occasion. Now hang your hat on this lot, lads…

Everton v Blackburn Rovers, Saturday 3pm

As much as I like David Moyes – us managerial redheads must stick together, y’know – his Toffees side have been blander than the missus’ shepherd’s pie of late, and blunter up front than the mother-in-law’s…well, the mother-in-law. Darron Gibson looks like a tidy signing though, and I like that Anichebe up top – he’s got brute force, and that’s something money can’t buy. Well, actually, it can, but poor old Moyesy never gets any to spend. See, I got there in my roundabout way!

Last week, I said Everton would draw 0-0 at Aston Villa. It were 1-1 in the end, so I’ll put that down to a spot of dust on my crystal football. Old Meggo were basically right, weren’t he?

Steve Kean stuck it to his critics last week by leading his struggling side to an impressive 3-1 win over Fulham despite having the big lad up top sent off for what I must say was a quite unexpected show of agility. Last time the Yak get his leg up that high, he was hurdling the police boundary in front of a burnt-out Greggs after last summer’s riots! Chortle, only joking, Aiyegbeni. Seriously though, I fear for Blackburn if they lose the big lad at the back. Wossisname? Sambo? Summat like that.

Last week, I predicted that Blackburn would romp to a 2-1 win over Fulham. Again, a spot of dust prevented me from calling it 100% correctly, but you’ve got to let old Meggo have this one!

Mystic Megson says: Rovers to take a first-half lead through young Hoilett, with Louis Saha breaking his duck with a late equaliser. There’s a joke about Hoilett duck in here somewhere, isn’t there? Let old Meggo have a think. Ooh it’s thirsty work, this predicting lark.