Blackburn Rovers v Aston Villa, Saturday 3pm

I reckon Blackburn’ll stay up, you know – that Yakubu’s got enough goals in him to fire them to safeway, even if he is carrying more extra pounds than Chris Samba’s wallet, while in Paul Robinson they have a goalkeeper whose name I remember. I hear they’re planning another protest, but I’m backing Steve Kean to stick it to the doubtfires – he’s a solid bloke, and that counts for a lot in elite football management.

As for Aston Villa, their fans aren’t too happy at the moment either. I like Alex McLeish though – he’s a solid bloke, and that counts for a lot in elite football management. I can see why he brought Heskey instead of N’Somnia on for Albrighton – he’s a big, strong lad, and that counts for a lot in incisive, intricate wing-play. Losing Bent for the rest of the season is a bigger blow than the mother-in-law needs to extinguish all her birthday candles, but it presents an opportunity for Gabby Agbonlahor to claim his steak for a place at the Euros. Here’s hoping he can grab his bulls with both hands.

Mystic Megson says: 2-2, neither side happy. The kind of game that makes football what it is. Namely, a game.