Come gawp at the best jokes that Twitter had to offer in response to Jermain Defoe’s PA advert on the rather splendidly named Secs in the City website.
The Sunderland striker’s 2nd goal of the season earned his side their first point of 2015-16 in the 1-1 draw with Swansea, and now he’s on the lookout for someone to take care of everything from watering his plants to developing his own app.
With other responsibilities including stocking his fridge, organising Father’s Day in his house and creating “a global brand for the Jermain Defoe name” – yes, seriously – the successful applicant will have to work pretty hard for their “competitive” salary.
Want to find out more about Jermain Defoe’s PA advert and have a good chuckle along the way? Then read on…
Artist's impression of Jermain Defoe and his new PA pic.twitter.com/GXqeyWLwZg
— Wile E Kouyaté (@tomvictor) August 24, 2015
Additional requirements include: Wiping Jermain's arse Securing move to Barcelona Ensuring he becomes US President pic.twitter.com/t4TXovRYXu
— 888sport (@888sport) August 24, 2015
Based on this rather insane job description, I'm not sure Jermain Defoe knows what a PA is. http://t.co/uWUMXiuL26
— James Tyler (@JamesTylerESPN) August 24, 2015
Think the fridge-stocking would be our stumbling block http://t.co/J1gy7XpGXG
— The Fiver (@TheFiver) August 24, 2015
— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) August 24, 2015
Basically from reading this advert Jermain Defoe wants a motherly geek that smells like a whore's handbag.
— NUFCThreatLevel (@NUFCThreatLevel) August 24, 2015
Jermain Defoe basically wants someone to build an empire for him & he can take all the credit. http://t.co/L84JwBE36t
— NøtTøøXabí (@Keenan1892) August 24, 2015
If you want to work for Jermain Defoe you have to be good at cleaning toilets… and building football academies: http://t.co/3gUkecplPF
— John Kelly (@JKelly1882) August 24, 2015
— Top Corner (@HITCtopcorner) August 24, 2015