You know the drill by now: something peculiar and/or amusing happens, Twitter becomes a procession of wags, Football Burp collects the best tweets and reproduces them for your delectation. As such, the news that Francis Jeffers has been bound to keep the peace after wielding a broomstick outside his father-in-law’s house had us scrambling around on everyone’s favourite online social networking service (Facebook is so passé) for the veyry best Francis Jeffers broomstick jokes…

Wasted Talent Cluedo: Jeffers in the Garden with the Broomstick. Cadermarteri in the Ballroom with the Tupperware. guardian.co.uk/football/2013/…

— Chris Mann (@equaliserblog) March 4, 2013

Francis Jeffers in court after waving a broomstick. He was no good at football, he must have taken up quidditch. dailymail.co.uk/sport/football…

— Andy Parsons (@andypars) March 4, 2013

Franny Jeffers and a broomstick incident. From the fox in the box to the witch on the pitch?

— Iain Macintosh (@iainmacintosh) March 4, 2013

@jamiebowman77 #Franny #Jeffers Ordered to keep the peace following #broomstick wielding incident? Can he keep the dustpan & brush as well?

— Sean Callaghan (@keanespirit) March 4, 2013

Jeffers being nicked? Don’t worry, it’ll get brushed under the carpet #waheey #broombroom

— Manny (@Manny_EFC) March 4, 2013

“@radiocity967: NEWS: Francis Jeffers is in court, after being found outside his father-in-law’s flat with a broomstick.”Its a witch-hunt.

— Anthony (@AntLynch10) March 4, 2013

francis jeffers appears in court after being found outside his father inlaws with a broomstick, hes been warned about flyin off the handle!

— bill (@fudgejohnson) March 4, 2013

Julia Donaldson to write Franny Jeffers’ new biography. #broomstick

— Duncan Alexander (@oilysailor) March 4, 2013

I want to make a Francis Jeffers biopic. It would be like a more depressing Eastbound and Down directed by Ken Loach.

— James Brittan (@jamesbrittan) March 4, 2013

Maybe Jeffers was trying to reinvent himself as a sweeper aggbot.com/Everton-News/a…

— Paul Green (@NewsShopperSprt) March 4, 2013

Jeffers may have waved a broom about but nobody in close proximity was at risk. Yeah you know the jokes.

— Lee Simpson (@leejaysim28) March 4, 2013

Have you ‘got one’, as it were? Have your say in the comments section below…