
After his re-election as FIFA president for a fifth term, the Sepp Blatter jokes keep on coming.
PLUS! MORE FIFA JOKES:
- The best FIFA jokes after US-backed arrests in Zurich
- The funniest FIFA raid updates as US prosecutors take action
- The best FIFA arrests jokes for Americans as 14 officials indicted
- The best Sepp Blatter jokes as FIFA corruption scandal goes on
- The best FIFA Congress jokes as presidential vote is held
Most of the Western world watched in despair as challenger Prince Ali withdrew from the contest, despite forcing a second round of voting.
Blatter was duly re-elected and made a rambling victory speech including mentions for God and Allah before concluding:
I am not perfect, nobody is perfect, but we will do a good job together I am sure.
I take the responsibility to bring back Fifa where it should be… Let’s go Fifa! Let’s go Fifa!
Help yourself to even more Sepp Blatter jokes following the FIFA vote:
The piss takes keep on coming… #Blatter #FIFAMAFIA pic.twitter.com/U79o49zZe2
— Terrace Life (@TerraceLife_) May 29, 2015
Blatter infection remains. Sigh.
— Amanda Rykoff (@amandarykoff) May 29, 2015
Blatter now to tell each voter to look under their seats, where they'll find they each have won a free car.
— Ira Winderman (@IraHeatBeat) May 29, 2015
How does Blatter sleep at night? On a mattress filled with dollar bills.
— Spencer FC (@SpencerOwen) May 29, 2015
Blatter namechecks Allah? Haven't we Muslims been through enough?
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 29, 2015
Can't wait for Adidas to do one of their 'There will be haters' ads with Blatter.
— Sport Witness (@Sport_Witness) May 29, 2015
Blatter re-elected!! Great news for Ethiopia who I'm told (hush hush) will be hosting the World Cup in Easter 2026!
— LADexperience (@LADexperience) May 29, 2015
Exclusive look at Sepp Blatter before the FIFA election this morning. pic.twitter.com/C2IYiQBKmb
— SportsNation (@SportsNation) May 29, 2015
Prince Ali pulls out. If only Blatter's Dad had done the same.
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) May 29, 2015
Sepp Blatter's Motto pic.twitter.com/quyVaNeVBY
— Troll Football (@Troll__Football) May 29, 2015
Only found out the other day that Blatter is 79, mans still trolling the world at that age.
— Abu Al Baik (@M_Ullah) May 29, 2015
Sepp Blatter: Oh, I'm afraid the shredders will be quite operational when your subpoenas arrive.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 29, 2015
I think Sepp Blatter was absolutely the right choice to lead FIFA, and anyone who disagrees, hasn't seen my new Rolex yet.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 29, 2015
Never knew a country called "Highest bidder", until Blatter…
— Patrick Obahiagbon (@PObahiagbon) May 29, 2015
That Blatter triumph in full… pic.twitter.com/GGd5LN4TVB
— Ian Mackay Bell (@IanBell1916) May 29, 2015
You call it 'cheating my way to a fifth term amidst FBI investigations, corruption charges and global condemnation'. I call it 'banter'.
— Corrupt Blatter (@Corrupt_Blatter) May 29, 2015
So #Blatter is back. Missed winning the election in the 1st round by just 7 votes, how many people were arrested the other day again?
— Marino Franchitti (@MFranchitti) May 29, 2015
Blatter's strategy of holding Africa and South America and advancing from there is basically how I play Risk.
— Keri (@kerihw) May 29, 2015
Life expectancy males in Switzerland: 79 and 2 months.
Blatter's age:
79 years, 1 month, 19 days.
@SeppBlatter
— 433 (@by433) May 29, 2015
Sepp Blatter has silenced his critics. By bribing them. #FIFACongress
— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) May 29, 2015
I voted for #Blatter today.
In unrelated news, Tinpotia is hosting the World Cup in 2030 pic.twitter.com/PJL1InKdYk
— General Maputu (@TinPot_Dictator) May 29, 2015
Blatter is to announce measures to tackle corruption in football straight after Aston Villa's late winner in tomorrow's FA Cup final.
— Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) May 29, 2015
Blatter vows to destroy the Jedi in reelection speech.
— Sean Greene (@seangreene89) May 29, 2015
If only there was an actual photo of Blatter celebrating his win wearing just a cash-necklace. If only… pic.twitter.com/ORdvqmTsqJ
— Danny Kelly (@dannykellywords) May 29, 2015
People who are not allowed to use my en suite
? Chewbacca
? Farage
? Scrappy Doo
? R2D2
? Blatter
— Trouteyes (@trouteyes) May 29, 2015
Sepp Blatter is my favorite Sacha Baron Cohen character
— Matt Oswalt (@Puddinstrip) May 29, 2015
Blatter. pic.twitter.com/QiyUZjtaLw
— Rudi Borrmann (@DonRudi) May 29, 2015
It Gets Blatter?
— Howler Magazine (@whatahowler) May 29, 2015
The wharves were dark even in the daytime. An overpowering smell of fish announced Blatter's presence like a bad metaphor.
— Laurie Penny (@PennyRed) May 29, 2015
Blatt, Blatter, Blattest. Degrees of sleaze.
— Tom Eaton (@TomEatonSA) May 29, 2015
Sepp Blatter responds to his critics #FIFA pic.twitter.com/jiO9eGSV0Q
— BreatheSport (@BreatheSport) May 29, 2015
Next time try the Mohammed Ali to stop Blatter, not the Prince one
— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) May 29, 2015
Blatter throwing up gang signs with the mandem pic.twitter.com/4lVh70jMxE
— Aidan (@Aidrianoo) May 29, 2015
Seth Blatter might be old, but he sure has no problems with elections. #soccerdouche
— Soccer Guy (@usasoccerguy) May 29, 2015
Text from FIFA: "Blattered". Awkward. #Blatter
— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) May 29, 2015
He tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn’t even Blatter.
— Ollie Connors (@olliexcore) May 29, 2015
Wow, Blatter wins again. The Titanic's passengers give the Captain a vote of thanks, presumably in return for a solid gold Rolex lifeboat.
— Kevin Hunter Day (@kevinhunterday) May 29, 2015
We should send this ninja kid to Sepp Blatter #BGT
— Chris Stark (@Chris_Stark) May 29, 2015
Dw Blatter will be in prison soon anyway
— LiverpoolFC News (@LFCTransferNRS) May 29, 2015
Why Blatter will be ruining world football four more years.. pic.twitter.com/pNi0APtFl5
— CasualUltra.com (@CasualUltra_) May 29, 2015
New Blatter version of Monopoly. Has a Get Out Of Goal Free card….
— Eric Idle (@EricIdle) May 29, 2015
Phew! Sepp Blatter has five more years to root out corruption at FIFA. That's that sorted then.
— Ben Hatch Novelist (@BenHatch) May 29, 2015
Bribes just in: Blatter is re-elected
— Nat's World (@Validate_my_ego) May 29, 2015
MORE FIFA FABULOUSNESS:
- The best FIFA jokes after US-backed arrests in Zurich
- The funniest FIFA raid updates as US prosecutors take action
- The best FIFA arrests jokes for Americans as 14 officials indicted
- The best Sepp Blatter jokes as FIFA corruption scandal goes on
- The best FIFA Congress jokes as presidential vote is held