Groan along with our football psychiatry puns, brainstormed in honour of Roy Hodgson’s appointment to the England squad of Dr Steve Peters, who helped Team GB to win Olympic gold in the cycling…
(With thanks to Kier Wiater Carnihan, Alexei Slater, Neal Clague, Michael Elliott, Toby Kettel, Ben White, Alex Moore, Nick Pearce, Luc Bony, Ciaran Bradley, Skelt Owen Hmrt, David Gottlieb and Garry McNulty)
TEAM NAME: Depressed-on North End/Pavlov’s Drogs (we can’t make up our minds which)
Ashley Jung, Manchester United
Steffen Freud, Tottenham Hotspur assistant head coach
Libor Prozac, Aston Villa
Peter Couch, Stoke City
Scott Shrink-lair, West Bromwich Albion (on loan from Manchester City)
Frasier Campbell, Cardiff City
Niles Crane-ger, Swindon Town
Wayne Looney, Manchester United
David Batty, ex-England
James C-unstable, Oxford United
Kenny (strait)Jackett, Wolverhampton Wanderers manager
James (C)BT, Accrington Stanley manager
Lubo(tomy) Moravčík, ex-Celtic
Robin van Nursey, Manchester United
Bi-Pola Ameobi, Newcastle United
Manic Hamsik, Napoli
Messed-Up Özil, Arsenal
Per Merte-crackers, Arsenal
Romelu Lu-cuckoo, Everton (on loan from Chelsea)
Fabian Health, Aston Villa
(men)Tal Ben Haim, Standard Liège
Alan McAnaly(sis), ex-Aston Villa, Bayern Munich and Celtic
Stuart ‘Psycho’ Pearce, ex-Nottingham Forest
Psy-Kolo-gist Touré, Liverpool
Diego (Pyschia)Tristán, ex-Spain
Djibril (Nar)Cissé(ism), SC Bastia
Histrionic Stoichkov, ex-Bulgaria
Ebou(limia)é, Galatasaray
Charles Insomnia, Aston Villa
César Azpergers-lacueta, Chelsea
Yaya Tourettes, Manchester City
Michael Woe-en, ex-England
Ryan’s Sure Cross, Stoke City
Shay Given (Advice), Aston Villa
Petr Cech-intorehab, Chelsea
M.R.I., ex-Newcastle United and Turkey
You know. Emre.
Never mind.
Can you think of any football psychiatry puns that we missed? Speak your brains in the comments bit, downwards!