Football Psychiatry Puns

In honour of Roy Hodgson's appointment to the England squad of Dr Steve Peters.

Sigmund Freud, the basis of one of our football psychiatry puns
Tough-tackling midfielder Steffen Freud

Groan along with our football psychiatry puns, brainstormed in honour of Roy Hodgson’s appointment to the England squad of Dr Steve Peters, who helped Team GB to win Olympic gold in the cycling…

(With thanks to Kier Wiater Carnihan, Alexei Slater, Neal Clague, Michael Elliott, Toby Kettel, Ben White, Alex Moore, Nick Pearce, Luc Bony, Ciaran Bradley, Skelt Owen Hmrt, David Gottlieb and Garry McNulty)

TEAM NAME: Depressed-on North End/Pavlov’s Drogs (we can’t make up our minds which)

Ashley Jung, Manchester United

Steffen Freud, Tottenham Hotspur assistant head coach

Libor Prozac, Aston Villa

Peter Couch, Stoke City

Scott Shrink-lair, West Bromwich Albion (on loan from Manchester City)

Frasier Campbell, Cardiff City

Niles Crane-ger, Swindon Town

Wayne Looney, Manchester United

David Batty, ex-England

James C-unstable, Oxford United

Kenny (strait)Jackett, Wolverhampton Wanderers manager

James (C)BT, Accrington Stanley manager

Lubo(tomy) Moravčík, ex-Celtic

Robin van Nursey, Manchester United

Bi-Pola Ameobi, Newcastle United

Manic Hamsik, Napoli

Messed-Up Özil, Arsenal

Per Merte-crackers, Arsenal

Romelu Lu-cuckoo, Everton (on loan from Chelsea)

Fabian Health, Aston Villa

(men)Tal Ben Haim, Standard Liège

Alan McAnaly(sis), ex-Aston Villa, Bayern Munich and Celtic

Stuart ‘Psycho’ Pearce, ex-Nottingham Forest

Psy-Kolo-gist Touré, Liverpool

Diego (Pyschia)Tristán, ex-Spain

Djibril (Nar)Cissé(ism), SC Bastia

Histrionic Stoichkov, ex-Bulgaria

Ebou(limia)é, Galatasaray

Charles Insomnia, Aston Villa

César Azpergers-lacueta, Chelsea

Yaya Tourettes, Manchester City

Michael Woe-en, ex-England

Ryan’s Sure Cross, Stoke City

Shay Given (Advice), Aston Villa

Petr Cech-intorehab, Chelsea

M.R.I., ex-Newcastle United and Turkey

You know. Emre.

Never mind.

Can you think of any football psychiatry puns that we missed? Speak your brains in the comments bit, downwards!

NEWS: Hodgson penalties psychiatrist quits on first day