Football corruption puns XI

A football corruption puns XI, in honour of the latest scandal surrounding the Qatar 2022 World Cup.

Jens Lehmann, the basis of one of our football corruption puns
Jens Cayman/Jens Lehmann Brothers (Image: Florian K.)

How about a football corruption puns XI to celebrate the bringing-to-light of evidence that former Fifa vice-president Jack Warner and his family were paid millions by a company controlled by a former Qatari football official shortly after the country won its bid for the 2022 World Cup?

Yeah? You know you want it…

Team name:

IFK Ill-gotten-burg


Tony unscru-Pulis, Sam Allar-dishonest, Harry Redknapp

Football corruption puns XI


Ian Crook, ex-Norwich City

Danny Oil well-beck, Manchester United

Jens Lehmann Brothers, ex-Arsenal

Tom Ince-idertrading, Crystal Palace

Alex Sarbanes-Oxley-Chamberlain, Arsenal

Gift-on Noel-Williams, ex-Stoke City and Watford

Ian Hush, ex-Liverpool

Darren underhand-erton, ex-Tottenham Hotspur

Jamie Moralee bankrupt, ex-Millwall, Watford and Daniella Westbrook

Muzzy dupl-Izzet-ous, ex-Leicester City

Joe-Tax Moore, ex-Everton

Brian McBribe, ex-Everton and Fulham

Taxi “Voidance” Rodríguez, Newell’s Old Boys

Lee Shark, ex-Manchester United

Zoran Toxic, CSKA Moscow

Samir Hand-in-the-till-anovic, Inter Milan

Leighton Gaines, Everton

Petr bounced Čech, Chelsea

(With thanks to Alexei Slater, Alex Moore, Ciaran Bradley, Neil Clague, Garry McNulty, Ben White, Jeremy Dresner, Joseph Bradfield, Skelt Owen Hmrt, Jack Wake-Walker, Matt Atherton and Eric Sullivan for their sterling contributions)

HAVE YOUR SAY: Can you think of any mildly amusing football corruption puns that we somehow missed? We were up all night thinking of these, you know.