Tweety Camera’s Twits of the Week: Krul, Assou-Ekotto, Le Tissier, Kamara, Ferdinand

Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week: Krul, Assou-Ekotto, Le Tissier, Kamara, FerdinandHello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.

All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Hello everyone! Have you had a nice breakfast?

Just had Pitta bread, Humous + some Jamaican hot pepper sauce #crazyfoodcombo

— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) October 29, 2012

LOL! It’s only crazy if you don’t sing the pitta bread, hummus and hot pepper sauce song, Rio!

Altogether now:

Pitta bread, hummus and hot pepper sauce
I eat you for breakfast and show no remorse
Doughy pocket, chick peas, fiery pepper
Breath so bad, people treat me like a leper

Then you do this thing with your hands…it’s hard to describe, but it’s kind of like a wrestling match between a dove and tarantula, if you can imagine such a thing.

Who else has had what for breakfast?

“@fizzer18: @gnev2 morning Gary what u had for breakfast 3 sausage butties??”No a WHSMITH guy telling me to use self service! #earlysnap

— G.Neville (@GNev2) November 6, 2012

LOLOL!! Oh, how I miss the banter inherent in English football. Scott Minto once set fire to my shoes during my West Ham days.

I wouldn’t have minded so much, but I happened to be wearing them at the time.

Christian Dailly used to say that it was the only time he ever saw me on fire. I’ve never thought that was all that funny, a bit cruel in fact.

You know, I came across this article about me from the excellent Anfield Wrap, and this paragraph jumped out at me:

Jamie Carragher perfectly summed up Titi’s up-and-down Reds career: “When he first came, the first three or four months, we all thought what have we got here – Pele? Every time you gave him the ball he was flicking it over someone’s head or scoring some great goals. Unfortunately it went a bit pear shaped for him towards the end.”

It was very nice of Jamie to say I was like Pele – to be fair, I was, as my goals in consecutive games against Southampton, Bradford City and West Ham in October/November 1999 are testament to, not to mention my famous winner against Arsenal at Highbury – and looking back on it all, I think it started going wrong the moment supporters started buying me drinks when they saw me out in town. I was never an alcoholic or anything like that, but I was brought up to always accept a gift and, well, the more I succeeded, the more I’d find myself turning up to training with a stinking hangover.

“Who do you think you are,” barked Gerard Houllier at me, “George Best?” I dare say someone had slipped something into my drink but, just at that moment, I honestly thought I was. Patrik Berger was captivated by my tales of romping with supermodels and writing off expensive cars – in fact, I think he saw me as something of a hero from then on – but Sami Hyppia wasn’t fooled. He took me aside and said, “You may believe these things that you’re saying, but I know they’re not true. I won’t say how, but I know.”

To this day, I don’t know how he knew, but at the time I honestly did believe I was George Best. And you know what? A little bit of me still does.

Did you catch last week’s League Cup action, former Swindon Town, Middlesbrough and Sheffield United strike Jan Aage Fjortoft?

Remember My tips for tonight: Chelsea – Man UTD5-4Norwich- Tottenham7-7Liverpool- Swansea9-41 of 3 not bad…..

— Jan Aage Fjortoft (@JanAageFjortoft) October 31, 2012

LOL! You’ve always had such a wicked sense of humour, Jan! Were you watching the Hurricane Sandy coverage? Some had Fox on, others CNN, but personally I was glued to this conversation between Peterborough United’s Gabriel Zakuani and Leicester City’s Ritchie De Laet…

@gabs50zakuani alphabetically mate

— ritchie de laet (@de_laet_r) October 29, 2012

@gabs50zakuani I’m smarter then I look mate lol

— ritchie de laet (@de_laet_r) October 29, 2012

Some absolute brainiacs on here by the way, lol can’t believe @de_laet_r answered that, never been smart at Stoke lol

— Gabriel Zakuani (@Gabs50Zakuani) October 29, 2012



Oh, mercy me. Okay, we’ve covered breakfast – what’s everyone having for lunch?


— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) November 3, 2012

LOL! What is it, Matt?

Merse lunch twitter.com/mattletiss7/st…

— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) November 3, 2012

That’s no lunch. That’s a dessert at best.

And mine twitter.com/mattletiss7/st…

— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) November 3, 2012

LOLOLOL!!! Now that’s a lunch! LOL!

“@mouthykev: @chris_kammy you look like a shi*t porn star lol” – hey you less of the “sh*t ha ha

— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) November 3, 2012


@luke_garbutt gets terrored on a daily basis twitter.com/JLundstram/sta…

— John Lundstram (@JLundstram) October 29, 2012


“@adam_crouch96: @paulmcgrath5 How did it feel signing your first professional contract” disapointed.

— Paul McGrath(@Paulmcgrath5) October 31, 2012


Trick or treat so I throw em a ball and said show me a trick…kid ran off with my ball!!!! #happyhalloween

— David Hunt ? (@DavidJHunt) October 31, 2012


Lets start an other week… And start to think about next game… Lol

— Benoit Assou-Ekotto (@AssouEkotto) November 5, 2012

I don’t think it’s appropriate to LOL after a 1-0 home defeat to Wigan, Benny.

Funny pic.. twitter.com/TimKrul/status…

— Tim Krul (@TimKrul) November 3, 2012

I don’t get it.

Wait…hang on…aha!


See you next week, everyone!

Tune in every Thursday for more from Football Burp’s very own Tweety Camera!