All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…
— Ryan Babel (@RyanBabel) August 13, 2012
LOL! Hello, Ryan, and indeed all of you. Boy, I sure miss the Olympics already. Anyone know when the new season begins?
1 week till the season starts
— Henri Lansbury (@Official_Henri) August 11, 2012
Well, you were right at the time. LOL! The 2012-13 campaign is only a matter of hours away now – all the drama, all the scandal, oh I can’t wait! Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand, can you think of a suitable opening question to get this week’s column up and running, so to speak?
Everyone happy with their teams signings? Or are u disappointed with who ya club have bought, frustrated by lack of activity? Let me know…
— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) August 6, 2012
That’s nice, thanks Rio. While you’re here, are you happy with the signing of Robin van Persie?
Oh well. I’ll open it to the floor: happy or frustrated?
Frustrates me when people stop at drive throughs and decide to engage in full on conversation with the person serving!
— Samuel Ameobi (@Sammy_Ameobi) August 13, 2012
LOL! That’s not what I meant.
Played any good practical jokes recently, former Norwich City forward Darren Huckerby?
Just jokingly told my kids we are moving and selling the house, back fired massively, they went Mental
— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) August 13, 2012
LOLOLOLOL!!!! That reminds me of the time when Gerard Houllier told me I wouldn’t be playing in the final match of the season at Bradford City, even though the team hadn’t scored in five games and we needed a win to qualify for the Champions League. Except he did actually leave me out and we lost 1-0.
Erm…LOL! It’s enough to drive a man to drink!
You paparazzi are really goodat making people look like they are drunk good effort but guys but i don’t drink any alcohol..but good try
— djibril cisse (@DjibrilCisse) August 14, 2012
Well, unless you’re Queens Park Rangers striker Djibril Cissé, that is. Or Manchester City star Sergio Aguero, who’s so sharp that he can still speak fluently in two different languages even when he’s speechless.
Show the people, Sergio!
Toda mi admiración por Bolt. Que fenómeno!! // Bolt leaves me speechless. He is unbelievable!! twitter.com/aguerosergioku…
— Sergio Aguero (@aguerosergiokun) August 6, 2012
I just tried doing that pose in front of the missus, slid into the kitchen on my knees, ended up doing my back and both knees in. Thanks a lot, Djibril.
LOL! Better call an ambulance! Anyone got any hypothetical Olympic events for me to fantasise about while I wait?
— Zak Whitbread (@ZakWhitbread) August 6, 2012
Thanks for the suggestion, Leicester City defender Zak Whitbread, but I don’t think it would be much of a contest, personally. Bolt racing a horse could be interesting, don’t get me wrong, but I think Southall would struggle to keep up. Just my opinion, of course, I accept I could be wrong.
Can anyone else smell gas? I smell gas. What should I do?
Test match now !
— Peter Reid(@reid6peter) August 6, 2012
LOL! Are you trying to get me killed, former Everton midfielder and Sunderland manager Peter Reid? I can’t believe you’d try something like this so soon after telling Blackburn Rovers new boy Dickson Etuhu that making toast in the bath is “dead boss”.
Dear God, Today I woke up. I am alive. I am healthy. Can’t ask for more. Thank you.
— Dickson Etuhu (@DicksonEtuhu) August 11, 2012
LOLOLOL!!! Thank goodness for that! LOLOLOL!!!
Some people give it absolutly massive on there bios.. Give it a rest mate u have about 39 followers
— Johnny Gorman (@JohnnyGorman92) August 13, 2012
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! You tell ’em, Tottenham Hotspur youngster Johnny!
— Coley-Cole (@DevanteeeCole) August 13, 2012
Okay, sorry Manchester City youngster Devante Cole, son of erstwhile Premier League hit-man Andrew. I guess I was getting a little over-excited.
LOL! Have a good day, everybody!