Hello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.
All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…
Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United
Hello everybody! Did you enjoy transfer deadline day? I haven’t been so excited since my famous winner at Highbury in 2000. Transfer deadline day is just so…so…
Transfer deadline day is soo good
— Luke Garbutt (@luke_garbutt) August 31, 2012
LOL! It sure is! What do you like most about transfer deadline day, Norwich City midfielder Elliott Bennett?
@skysportsnews coverage of deadline day. Some big moves already completed wonder if there will be any late dashes for a big signature!
— Elliott Bennett (@Ebenno88) August 31, 2012
There were indeed, Elliott – even after the window closed! Can you imagine that? Shutting a window and having a bird still fly through it! LOL! LOLOLOL!!!
It’s just so implausible, I don’t know what’s real anymore! Help! LOL!
There is a lot of panic on here today….deep breaths
— Neil Lennon (@OfficialNeil) August 31, 2012
Sorry Neil, got a bit carried away there. How’s life at Serie A club Pescara, Vladimir Weiss?
Just landed in Torino.. Too cold over here
— Vladimir Weiss (@VladiW7) August 31, 2012
LOL! That’s saying something for someone who’s already played in Manchester, Bolton and Glasgow! Seems like everyone’s on the move at the moment. Where are you going, my fellow former Hammer (albeit not at the same time) Julian Dicks?
Off to Grays later to do a Question and Answers session
— Julian Dicks (@JULIAN3DICKS) August 31, 2012
I did a Q&A session in Grays back in my Upton Park heyday. First hand goes up – “who are you?” I’m Tweety Camera, I say. “You’re not Kaba Diawara?” No, I say – Tweety Camera. “Sorry, my mistake.” Then he left. Gutted. Clearly he never saw my famous winner at High…oh right, I already mentioned it.
LOL! Tell you another thing I forgot – Ruud Gullit’s birthday!
Here I go. 50 !!!??????… is.gd/TSKpb5
— Ruud Gullit (@GullitR) August 31, 2012
All together now! “Happy birthday to Ruuuuud! Happy birthday to Ruuuuuuuuuuuud! Happy birthday dear…” LOL! For this special occasion I have arranged for former Crystal Palace and England midfielder to use some modern street slang…
Clear penalty. Wow. The little dink looks great when it comes off but when it doesn’t wack wack
— Geoff Thomas (@GeoffThomasGTF) September 2, 2012
LOL! What did you think of Robin van Persie’s penalty miss against Southampton, Dion Dublin?
Just put your laces through the pen !!
— Dion Dublin (@DionDublinsDube) September 2, 2012
What, you mean like this?
Only joking Dion! LOL! Sorry, I make jokes when I get nervous, and I tend to get nervous around guys who’ve had their manhood described as “magnificent” by none other than Sir Alex Ferguson.
It was a fantastic tackle
— Robbie Savage (@RobbieSavage8) September 2, 2012
Was? What do you know, Robbie? And do you know if Leicester City midfielder Neil Danns got the results of his test back yet?
Rvp is the daddy
— neil danns (@dannzy1) September 2, 2012
Oh, I’m sorry, Neil. Looks like Robin banged one in after all. LOL!
I’m sorry, that was really insensitive. Just trying out some edgier material – I daresay I don’t feel comfortable with it, though. But I do enjoy getting ex-players to employ modern-day youth patois! Here’s another one for you, Ruud…
— Paul Dalglish (@pauldalglish) August 31, 2012
LOL! What do you think about that, Paddy? Ooh, sorry – didn’t realise you were talking to FIFA.
@officialvieira – what do you like most about #TransferDeadlineDay?
— FIFA.com (@FIFAcom) August 31, 2012
Hey! You stole my idea!
@benfoster – what do you like most about #TransferDeadlineDay?
— FIFA.com (@FIFAcom) August 31, 2012
Stop doing that! Benny, are you seeing this?
Stop to prezzo -) i luv it lol
— Benoit Assou-Ekotto (@AssouEkotto) August 31, 2012
LOL! That’s not helpful, Benny.
Can’t believe Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0 at Anfield and Arsene Wenger still didn’t get a hard on ! twitter.com/Kevinhorlock6/…
— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) September 2, 2012
That’s a serious advert for a wonderful hair product!! Manwave pro scalp is one of the leading soul glow products on the market LOL
— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) September 2, 2012
I luv my new shoes lol
— Benoit Assou-Ekotto (@AssouEkotto) August 16, 2012
LOLOLOL!!! See you next week, everybody!