Roy Hodgson monkey joke! Gazza death rumour! Er…oh yeah, England World Cup qualification! Is it Tweets of the Week? It certainly isn’t not!
Sex Life of the Week
Oliver Holt, Daily Mirror
There's a first time for everything but, realistically, that's not going to happen
— Oliver Holt (@OllieHolt22) October 17, 2013
Spacemonkeygate Tweets of the Week
Andros Townsend, England and Tottenham Hotspur
I don't know what all this fuss is about. No offence was meant and none was taken! It's not even news worthy!
— andros townsend (@andros_townsend) October 17, 2013
Wayne Rooney, England and Manchester United
Seen the story on roy this morning. He done nothing wrong. This is ridiculous.
— Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) October 17, 2013
Brian Moore, ex-England rugby union
If you thought Roy Hodgson's space monkey joke referred to black players it says more about you than him.
— Brian Moore (@brianmoore666) October 17, 2013
Now, can that *please* be the end of the matter?
Unsymmetrical Team Photo of the Week
Wales
Proud moment! pic.twitter.com/6XhofG6O1s
— Jazz Richards (@jazzrichards) October 15, 2013
Sophisticate of the Week
Joey Barton, Queens Park Rangers
Some serious reading to be done today. Got to finish Plato's Republic and then put Phaedo away by Thurs. All aboard the caffeine intake…
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) October 16, 2013
Sophisticate of the Week II
Ikechi Anya, Scotland and Watford
GLASGOW WUT UP DOE ??? I don't care how much it cost or how many calories it got. Eh yo Siri "Where the nearest KFC " ??!?! LOL
— Ikechi (@IkechiAnya) October 15, 2013
Duo of the Week
Chris Kamara and Dizzee Rascal
Just having a pint with some rascal lol pic.twitter.com/pPfH6M6Vid
— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) October 15, 2013
Snake-Spotters of the Week
Gerard Piqué and Pepe Reina, Spain
@PReina25 ha conocido una serpiente antes de coger el avión dirección Barcelona! Ya estamos en el Mundial! pic.twitter.com/41Ww9YgPgA
— Gerard Piqué (@3gerardpique) October 15, 2013
Not quite Snakes on a Plane, but bloody close.
Presumed Spacemonkeygate Tweet That Could Be a Reply to the Above, But Isn’t of the Week
Bradley Johnson, Norwich City
Who's the snake??
— Bradley Johnson (@Bradley4Johnson) October 17, 2013
Education of the Week
Matt Le Tissier’s
Not often england scotland wales n ireland and rep of ireland play on same night and none get beat
— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) October 15, 2013
Growing up in guernsey i wanted all 5 countries of previous tweet to do well with england first. Think i may be in a big minority
— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) October 15, 2013
@mattletiss7 do you mean small minority?
— samuel hudson (@Samuelhudson121) October 15, 2013
“@Samuelhudson121: @mattletiss7 do you mean small minority?” Haha oh yeah #thickfootballer
— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) October 15, 2013
Observation of the Week
Nick Wright, ex-Carlisle United and Watford
If you removed the words 'you know' from professional footballers' interviews, the duration of the interview would be dramatically reduced
— Nick Wright (@NickWright11) October 15, 2013
Trip Down Memory Lane of the Week
Mark Bright and Geoff Thomas, ex-Crystal Palace
If you were the Palace fan on the train back to Marylebone, thanks for the laughs, just don't remember @IanWright0 scoring a hatrick v Dons.
— Mark Bright (@Mark__Bright) October 15, 2013
@Mark__Bright @IanWright0 Plough Lane Brighty. One was a stunner
— Geoff Thomas (@GeoffThomasGTF) October 15, 2013
@GeoffThomasGTF @IanWright0 skip, I don't remember not playing, more importantly, how did we win so easily without me?
— Mark Bright (@Mark__Bright) October 15, 2013
Mark Twain of the Week
Paul Gascoigne, ex-England
Had loads of texts and calls yesterday from friends and family calling and texting me worried that i'm dead
— Paul Gascoigne (@gazzaofficial) October 16, 2013
ha i laughed because if someone is dead i would not text the person because he is dead ha
— Paul Gascoigne (@gazzaofficial) October 16, 2013
but i appreciate the care so i went to the chemist and got some benylin to get rid of the coffin ha… Love GAZZA X
— Paul Gascoigne (@gazzaofficial) October 16, 2013
Those were our Tweets of the Week. Tune in on Monday for our Tweets of the Weekend!