The best Ángel Di María tweets are brought to you in association with dubious Manchester United news sources across the internet – after all, football fans thrive on misinformation.
Twitter went into its customary meltdown as the Argentina and Real Madrid winger’s £63.9m move to Old Trafford appeared to edge closer, with this suspiciously close-range photo doing the rounds…
So Di maria has just arrived at the airport pic.twitter.com/zuDtZuSTu6
— Wayne van Mata (@dassovik) August 25, 2014
In scenes reminiscent of the incredible Totally Man U journey, someone called SirAlexWay.com took the trouble to ‘confirm’ the picture’s legitimacy…
"@SirAlexWay: The picture I just tweeted of Di Maria coming of the plain is 100% legit I can confirm." source????
— HAYZ *MUFC* (@Haywhyze) August 25, 2014
NB: We had to post a reply as SirAlexWay.com’s initial tweet was deleted once the photo’s contextual legitimacy had been discredited. It’s an old one, unsurprisingly.
Anyway, Di María’s arrival was music to the ears of the world’s worst English speaker…
@SirAlexWay we rily to nid him
— Sir Martin (@SirMartin3) August 25, 2014
…and girls who speak like cavemen…
"@TheSunFootball: SHEARER EXCLUSIVE: @ManUtd are paying £20m too much for Di Maria" I'm sure not lose sleep Alan you bellend
— Hayley B (@Hayley89_MUFC) August 25, 2014
…and people with unrealistic merchandising expectations…
Di Maria shirt sales will tripple the amount we have payed for him within hours.
— Roger` (@UtdRoger) August 25, 2014
…and detail-eschewing, meaning-of-‘exclusive’-not-understanding Nigerian news outlets…
EXCLUSIVE: Di Maria close to joining Manchester club http://t.co/fZkl7C9zgK
— Information Nigeria (@infonaija) August 25, 2014
…and of course the obligatory parade of Twitter wags. Here are some of our favourite Di María jokes in the wake of his apparent move to Man Utd…
Lahm – won world cup & retired from international football. Di Maria – won Champions League and retired from European football. (not mine)
— Karthik Sunder (@ArsenalisLife) August 25, 2014
Di Maria could not resist the temptation of having Tuesday and Wednesday evenings off.
— thatWallace (@thatwallace) August 25, 2014
This #DiMaria transfer, looks like being a cherry on the cake signing… Unfortunately for United they seem to be missing the cake!! #MUFC
— SpursDreamer (@SpursDreamer) August 25, 2014
It's such a shame we don't have UCL football, we'd be able to get players like Lallana &Lambert.We'll have to settle for Di Maria.
— Earl Koholic (@iamsymonsezz) August 25, 2014
goodbye Di Maria . Angel now is a devil .
— ajim (@razinkanaludin) August 25, 2014
Here’s one that makes no sense…
If Di Maria marries Maria Sharapova then she will be Maria Maria, lol so funny
— Kishore (@ChotaSamosa) August 25, 2014
Where to start with that one? Finally, please enjoy a rumour that no-one took the time to think through properly…
I've heard a rumour that Di Maria is getting 9, leaving 7 vacant for one more big name #Vidal
— Jonny Blobbins (@Jonny_Blobbins) August 25, 2014
Turns out he’ll be getting 7. Perhaps they’re leaving 9 vacant for one more big name?
Or 36, or 712? There are a lot of numbers they could either use or leave vacant, but we shan’t list them all here.
For a full list, start counting now and never stop.
These have been the best Ángel Di María tweets. Join us next time Manchester United make a big signing for more dubious confirmations and cheeky wisecracks!