Hello again, folks! Is it just me or is everyone an expert on swimming and the javelin all of a sudden? Not that there’s anything wrong with trying something new – far from it. Just ask West Ham United centre-forward Carlton Cole…
When i 1st came to the club, i chose my place on the team bus & never sat anywhere else since. the problem is that it is nxt to the toilet.
— Carlton Cole (@CarltonCole1) August 4, 2012
Now now Carlton, that’s not a nice way to refer to Kevin Nolan.
It’s okay folks, Nolan’s not reading this.
Is he?
i think I’m gonna opt for a change this season. i will choose my new seat even though it may upset a few team mates. they’ll get over it.
— Carlton Cole (@CarltonCole1) August 4, 2012
You know who could take your place? Loo-dek Miklosko!
Thank you, thank you. I had a few others lined up too: Daniel Potts, Pee Demel and Winston Weed!
I’ve really got to learn when to stop. Queens Park Rangers defender Anton Ferdinand – how did you bounce back from the embarrassment of this?
Jus giving
@hoganephraim &@alefaurlin a music lesson! Straight trigga trey!!— Anton Ferdinand (@anton_ferdinand) August 6, 2012
That’s nice, Anton. Recorder? Violin? What grades are they on?
Cheers, lads and ladies. It’s how you tell ’em! You know who could really use a music lesson? Yep, you guessed it: Newcastle United full-back Danny Simpson…
Feels good 2 be driving, shock iv got chris brown on again singing away 2 it
— Danny Simpson (@dannysimpson) August 6, 2012
Chris Brown? He’s the one who released that smash hit, isn’t he? Hear he does a bit of music on the side!
What? You like Chris Brown? Or you don’t approve of wife-beating jokes?
You could be a bit more helpful, you know. Like this fella…
U wouldnt though RT
@connorbailey87:@dannysimpson He’s fucking shit , I’d rather stick pins in my eyes— Danny Simpson (@dannysimpson) August 6, 2012
Aye, nothing gets past you, Danny lad. But was Rio Ferdinand making an intentional funny when he came out with this?
RT
@chrismason85:#CardiffCity made some decent signings. Hope to push promotion. not happy with the red kit» came out of the blue that 1!— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) August 6, 2012
Yep. Good one, wasn’t it? If he meant it! I have my doubts. Rio lad, drop me a line at Neil, Leeds United, P/O Box Leeds – I might have a gig for you.
Some sad news now: it seems that bronze-winning Irish boxer Katie Taylor passed away midway through Leicester City midfielder Neil Danns’s tweet to former Crystal Palace, Norwich City and Coventry City forward Leon McKenzie …
@leonmckenzie1 gave it her all bro, katie taylor is a phenomenom tho she really was— neil danns (@dannzy1) August 6, 2012
Talk about a sudden adjustment – that’s like a newsreader putting a black tie on while announcing that a member of the royal family has just died!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you really are an odd lot. Still not as odd as young West Bromwich Albion striker Chris Wood, mind…
I named my iPod ‘Titanic’, plugged it into the computer, “Titanic is syncing”, pressed cancel, felt like a hero.
— Chris Wood (@officialcwood) August 6, 2012
Alright, steady on folks – it’s not a Woody original! Finally, I give you this week’s Footballer Who Should Probably Never Go to Thailand…
Just watched a whole round of boxing before realising it was 2 women
#HandOverFace there were some strong shots from#TeamGB girl— Curtis Davies (@thecurtisdavies) August 6, 2012
That’s yer lot, folks! Arriveder-see ya!