Neil Warnock’s Comedy Corner

Neil Warnock's Comedy Corner

Hello again folks, hope you’ve been enjoying the Euros as much as I have. It’s been a cracking tournament so far, but one question has been on everyone’s mind…

Everyone’s asking “What’s happening with Rio?” #rio4rio Pls RT! lockerz.com/s/216503125

— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) June 12, 2012

Funnily enough I just asked the wife that – but then she is planning a holiday in Brazil!

Thank you, thank you. Now, observational humour is not just the preserve of us old-school comedians – even former Swansea City defenders are having a go…

If am sitting on the train or seat waiting. If your a dude please don’t sit next to me. Know the 1 seat gap rule otherwise just stand

— Izzy Iriekpen (@Izzyiriekpen) June 11, 2012

“Mind the gap”, eh Izzy? Oo er!

I’m glad you like that one, folks – I could see you a few of you looking at me as if to say, “He isn’t, Izzy?”

Er…anyway, did you hear about the first Amish person on Twitter? Made a right hash of it, he did…

“@Amish289: @JoleonLescott shouldn’t you be training?”>> not at this time mate.

— Joleon Lescott (@JoleonLescott) June 12, 2012

This was posted at 10.40pm, or 11.40 Polish time. Get some sodding electricity mate, your cuckoo clock’s broken!

Thank you, you’re too kind. Now, I’ve done a few radio gigs in my time, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t usual protocol…

I’m on peace fm. Now! #Ghana


Asamoah lad, put the bloody smartphone away when you’re on the air!

That was incredulity for comic effect, that was. It doesn’t require a punchline.

Why do you all laugh so much when Russell Howard does it, then?

Oh, balls to the lot of yer. I wonder if Joey Barton’s retweeted anything good lately…

A megalomaniac is a person who is extremely full of themselves and overestimates their abilities.

— UberFacts (@UberFacts) June 11, 2012

Now that doesn’t require a punchline! Am I right folks?

Thank you, good to have you back onside. Now, I wonder what Watford’s young players have been listening to lately…

Think I might just play Ed Sheeran and fall asleep!!

— Bernard Mensah (@Mensah_10) June 18, 2012

I know lad, he has that effect on me too!

Oh, Warnock’s on fire tonight! Well, this morning, anyway.

Wow what surgery can do if you can afford it !!! twitter.com/jaybothroyd/st…

— Jay bothroyd10 (@jaybothroyd) June 18, 2012

That’s pretty amazing, Jay – you look more beautiful than ever there!


— Billy Clifford (@Bclifford47) June 18, 2012

Yeah, alright.