Football Tweets of the Weekend: Carroll, Townsend, Scharner, Carew and more!

John Carew
Carew… The ever-preoccupied mind of the crumble addict (Image: suetonius)

Yes it’s Bank holiday, and no that doesn’t mean we’re going to pass over our football tweets of the weekend. Get a load of the following beauties…

“Dear Points of View…” of the Week

Paul Scharner, Wigan Athletic

What a shattering analyses from the match of the day guys at BBC. It sounded we lost 8:0:-)

— Paul Scharner (@Scharns33) May 4, 2013

Dean Kiely, West Bromwich Albion goalkeeping coach

“How direct is this” Hansen, not very, just playing a forward pass into a big hole left by a centre half #pundit?

— Dean Kiely (@deankiely40) May 4, 2013

BANTER! of the Weekend

Joey Barton, Olympique de Marseille

@joey7barton we are obviously missing you!!! twitter.com/AndyTCarroll/s…

— Andy Carroll (@AndyTCarroll) May 5, 2013

@andytcarroll so are me and the Mole… twitter.com/Joey7Barton/st…

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) May 5, 2013


BANTER! of the Weekend II

Jordan Archer, Tottenham Hotspur and Andros Townsend, Queens Park Rangers (on loan from Tottenham Hotspur)

Awww @dwightgayle chin up lad, got a box of tissues here for you twitter.com/Jordan_Archer/…

— Jordan Archer (@Jordan_Archer) May 5, 2013

@jordan_archer @dwightgayle how you gona try and banter when his team just got relegated #havesomerespect

— andros townsend(@andros_townsend) May 5, 2013

@andros_townsend you’d know all about relegation

— Jordan Archer (@Jordan_Archer) May 5, 2013

“@jordan_archer: @andros_townsend you’d know all about relegation” dont get bigtime coz uve been on spurs’s bench once pal!

— andros townsend(@andros_townsend) May 5, 2013

@jordan_archer u still got floored by a 12yo in a pink hoodie live on skysports! Have no idea how ur piping up after that humiliation!

— andros townsend(@andros_townsend) May 5, 2013

@jordan_archer @andros_townsend MELT!! You got jumped by a 10 year old twitter.com/Nash_man2/stat…

— Dan. (@Nash_man2) May 5, 2013


Trappings of Fame of the Weekend

Tyrone Mings, Ipswich Town

To the guy who just shouted MINGSY and hit me on the shoulder when he walked past me in isaacs,,, bravo.

— Tyrone Mings (@tyronemings1) May 5, 2013

Craving of the Weekend

John Carew, ex-Aston Villa

If i don’t make to VP to watch a game this season then i defo will come next season Villans!

— John Carew (@JCarew10) May 5, 2013

And I also need apple crumble with custard when im there , so lemme kno where best place to get hold of that is Villans

— John Carew (@JCarew10) May 5, 2013

Dream about that Apple crumble with custard….! At least 3-4 nites a week

— John Carew (@JCarew10) May 5, 2013

Winner of the Weekend

Kyle Bennett, Doncaster Rovers (on loan from Norwich City)

Trying to find the nearest dressing room to smash up with this round my kneck twitter.com/kbennyb/status…

— kyle bennett (@kbennyb) May 4, 2013

Gareth bale is a poor player

— kyle bennett (@kbennyb) May 4, 2013

Fancy Dress of the Weekend

These guys

@chris_kammy what do you think of this fancy dress costume? twitter.com/SteGray85/stat…

— SteG (@SteGray85) May 4, 2013

what do you think of this fancy dress costume? @stegray85 -Ha Ha Ha Who is it?? twitter.com/SteGray85/stat…

— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) May 4, 2013

@chris_kammy Think this one is loads better kammy #UnbelievableJeff twitter.com/DENCH5/status/…

— T☺m Br☺☺n (@TommaBrownDuds) May 4, 2013

Kammy I think this one is loads better#UnbelievableJeff @tommabrownduds— but surely that is me ha ha -:) twitter.com/DENCH5/status/…“”

— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) May 4, 2013

Oh, and Reading striker Noel Hunt…

I said because my Fav Film The Goonies are on I’d dress up for the occasion! Call it a Celebration of Goonies Day!! twitter.com/boyhunt/status…

— Noel Hunt (@boyhunt) May 4, 2013

Match Report of the Weekend


I drank more gin that I had intended.

— arseblog (@arseblog) May 4, 2013

Critique of the Weekend

Jonathan Liew, Telegraph

I’m still not sure I see the point of Joe Bennett.

— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) May 4, 2013

Quite apart from his complete lack of positional sense, it’s going some to not even be one of two best Bennetts on the pitch

— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) May 4, 2013

Wristwear of the Weekend

Jordan Ball, Doncaster Rovers

Me mams just found my “no Armani no punani” wristband! #lovesit

— Jordan Ball (@JordanBall1209) May 4, 2013

Farewell of the Weekend

Borussia Dormund supporters to Mario Götze

A poetic send-off from the Dortmund faithful—”The pursuit of cash shows how much heart one truly has. Piss off Götze” twitter.com/TouchlineDrama…

— Nik Postinger (@TouchlineDrama) May 4, 2013

Lost Marbles of the Weekend

David James, ex-England

Not sure what has happened, since my first visit to Iceland, my music taste has grown! Why had I never listened to Mumford & sons before?

— David James djf (@jamosfoundation) May 4, 2013

“That’s What She Said” of the Week

Luke McGee, Tottenham Hotspur

That heart break when you scrape your rims!

— Luke McGee (@Lukemcgee1) May 5, 2013

Let-Down Hair of the Weekend

Jermaine Johnson, Sheffield Wednesday

I’m in one of those sunshine & booze kinda moods today! No training so that only means one thing.. Get SMASHED.. Still celebrating #Onelove

— Jermaine Johnson (@DaRealJJ11) May 5, 2013

Gavin Massey, Colchester United

I’m on that good snus and alcohol

— Gavin Massey (@GMassey27) May 4, 2013

Honesty of the Weekend

George Lineker

Off out to get absolutly bollocksed

— George Lineker (@GeorgeLineker) May 4, 2013

Accepted Apology of the Weekend

Dom Poleon, Leeds United and Jonathan Bond, Watford

Didn’t mean to injure @bondy506 wasn’t my intentions at all, hope his ok

— Dom Poleon (@MrPoleon) May 4, 2013

@mrpoleon im ok man don’t worry these things happen

— Jonathan Bond (@bondy506) May 4, 2013

Tune in on Friday for our Football Tweets of the Week!