Football Tweets of the Week: Collymore, Zaha, Odemwingie, Saha, Wright, Southall and many more!

Louis Saha
Luigi Saha? (Img: Austin Osuide)

It’s…Football Burp’s Football Tweets of the Week!

Get a load of these, already…

Fingering Pussies of the Week

Stan Collymore, talkSPORT

Christ, if Nani did the guy, it truly is a sport for pussies now. Get some common sense in refereeing. Don’t like contact, play bowls.

— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) March 5, 2013

Law is there to protect. Fine. 100 years+ of football history, tackles, physicality is being diluted by pussies, and bureaucrats.

— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) March 5, 2013

Accusation of the Week

Neville Southall, ex-Everton

How many time have British clubs gone out of Europe due to bad refs why don’t they just say they don’t want usFix

— Neville Southall (@NevilleSouthall) March 5, 2013

Zing! of the Week

Johnnie Jackson, Charlton Athletic

@johnnie_jackson I saw you play last weekend, you were nothing like Wayne Rooney…

— Chris Cooke (@chriscooke) March 5, 2013

Proof of the Week

Many of you saying “Never a red card”. Here’s proof it definitely was. twitter.com/NeilCockburn/s…

— Neil Cockburn (@NeilCockburn) March 5, 2013

Collector’s Item of the Week

Irvine Welsh quoting David Moyes

Everton’s David Moyes: “I think tonight Sir Alex Ferguson will be rightly as angry as he has ever been. The decision changed the game.”

— Irvine Welsh (@WelshIrvine) March 5, 2013

Analogy of the Week

Danny Baker

Roy Keane saying United can’t complain strikes me as akin to Simon Cowell saying modern TV is rubbish.

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 5, 2013

City Fan of the Week

Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City

My view on the Red card is…who gives a shit it’s gone so get over it and stop crying mwhahaha

— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) March 5, 2013

Arsenal Fan of the Week

Tyrone Mings, Ipswich Town

Eboue getting sent off at old Trafford #DoesntFeelNiceDoesIt #LeaveItFergie twitter.com/tyronemings1/s…

— Tyrone Mings (@tyronemings1) March 5, 2013

Fight! Fight! Fight! of the Week

Christopher Samba, Queens Park Rangers v Roy Keane, ITV

Roy kean said it was right for nani to get sent off shocking

— Samba Christopher (@cs4christsamba1) March 5, 2013

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” of the Week II

Oliver Holt, Daily Mirror v Sue Barker, Question of Sport

And why I didn’t watch the 1000th episode of Question of Sport on Monday. Two words. Sue Barker.

— Oliver Holt (@OllieHolt22) March 5, 2013

Retro Image of the Week

I wonder why Gareth Southgate’s petrified of Roy Keane on ITV’s commentary? The mind boggles… twitter.com/Joey7Barton/st…

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013

Tinnitus of the Week

Troy Deeney, Watford

What a result that was brilliant from all the boys winning like games like that give you a buzz you can’t explain #buzzing

— Troy Deeney (@T_Deeney) March 5, 2013

Hit the Bottle? of the Week

Peter Odemwingie, West Bromwich Albion

Can see few jokes coming like not late to drive there now. When will the joke become too old ? I tire o .

— Peter Odemwingie (@OdemwingieP) February 26, 2013

Chortle! of the Week

Darren Huckerby, ex-Norwich City and Coventry City

“@alanbiggs1: Kevin Phillips hat-trick for #cpfc tonight 4 months short of 40th birthdayThe young lad has half a chance if he keeps it up!

— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) March 5, 2013

Self-Deprecation of the Week

Phil Neville, Everton

“@mickykerr: @fizzer18 Where do u think ur best position has been throughout ur career, right/left back, Holding mid, Centre mid?” Sub haha

— phil neville18 (@fizzer18) March 7, 2013

Cocky So-and-Sos of the Week

Shauny Williams and Dean Bowditch, MK Dons and Wilfried Zaha, Crystal Palace

“@shaunywilliams6: Prob the easiest game of footy I’ve ever played in against top of the table #COYD” you can say that again pal!! #coyd

— Dean Bowditch (@deanbowditch9) March 5, 2013

Buzzing after that win #JustTooGood #Cpfc

— Wilfried Zaha (@wilfriedzaha) March 5, 2013

Old Trafford Audition (Other Than Jose Mourinho’s) of the Week

Wilfried Zaha, Crystal Palace

Disappointed to hear about the result #MUFC

— Wilfried Zaha (@wilfriedzaha) March 5, 2013

Way With Words of the Week

Jason McAteer, ex-Republic of Ireland

@mickeymcardle that an the birth of my son. One going in one coming out. Love it

— Jason MCATEER (@MCATEER4) March 5, 2013

Sex Change of the Week

Steve Howey, ex-Newcastle United and Manchester City

with my top girls Natalie Hubbard and Tracy Dawson and Steve Howey

— steve wraith (@stevewraith) March 5, 2013

“Do Tell…” of the Week

Jay Emmanuel-Thomas, Ipswich Town

Unlucky tonight boys, i would have loved to help see that game out. Due to certain circumstances i couldn’t roll on saturday !!!

— Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (@OfficialJET9) March 5, 2013

Adopted Scot of the Week

Manuel Pascali, Kilmarnock

The most annoyin thing the now is i cannae have a proper proper confortable jobbey… I cannae sit properly!!!! Ffs #roadtorecovery

— Manuel Pascali (@paska29) March 5, 2013

Capitalist’s Wet Dream of the Week

Nicky Forster, ex-Brentford, Brighton and Hove Albion, Gillingham and Reading

Which one am I cheating on more by drinking a Costa coffee out of a Starbucks travel mug ! #confuseddotcom

— Nicky Forster (@nickyforster200) March 5, 2013

“What Is He Banging On About?” of the Week

Kazenga LuaLua, Brighton and Hove Albion

There’s not many cool ladies in this world……NO WORDS and KEEP CALM …..

— kazenga (@kazenga25) March 6, 2013

“That’s What She Said!” of the Week

John Oster, Barnet

Little strengthening day today let’s get this hammi back in the game!!! #dontaskmehowlongplease

— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 5, 2013

Pool-Related Gripe of the Week

Jay McEveley, Swindon Town

If ya spin the black when ya setting up a 2 3 yellow C! Your a weapon!!

— jay mceveley (@jaymcev03) March 5, 2013

Intellectual of the Week

Nathan Redmond, Birmingham City

@lovenkrands11 @rosshenderson17 reminded me of Kevin hart…. “EARRHHHH does this make me gay…”

— NathanRedmond#22 (@NathanRedmond22) March 6, 2013

Intellectual of the Week II

Louis Dennis, Dagenham and Redbridge


— Louis Dennis (@LDennis11) March 5, 2013

Virtual Reality of the Week

This guy’s

@craigleastmondOI! playing football manager…and you just got sent off! cheers then….. #hairdrier

— D (@djmfowler) March 5, 2013

Novel Insomnia Cure of the Week

Jason McAteer, ex-Republic of Ireland

I’m in the wide awake club. Need Kev Kilbane to talk me through his career ! I’d soon be a kip. !!!!!#banter

— Jason MCATEER (@MCATEER4) March 6, 2013

Incisive Punditry of the Week

Ian Wright, ex-Arsenal

What do I think about tonight’s game? It’s a tough one, just my humble opinion! Me & @ball_street click here>>bit.ly/utdorreal

— Ian Wright (@IanWright0) March 5, 2013

Incisive Punditry of the Week II

Peter Lovenkrands, Birmingham City

“@benmcguiggin: Do you think the toon will get a result tomorrow pete Fingers crossed.

— Peter Lovenkrands (@lovenkrands11) March 6, 2013

Carnivore of the Week

Sergio Torres, Crawley Town

Great recommendation by Julian Speroni, @barestaurantuksteak was great, oh how I miss my Argie meet

— Sergio Torres (@Sergio_Torres08) March 6, 2013

Obituary of the Week

David Cotterill, Doncaster Rovers

Paul bearer is dead! That guy use to freak me out when he used to come out with the undertaker #wwe #RIP

— David cotterill (@cotterill_david) March 6, 2013

Slowness of the Week

Liam Ridgewell, West Bromwich Albion

Watching Gavin & Stacey, and I have just got the Owine Hughes joke. Only taken 4yrs haha

— Ridgy 6(@liam_ridgewell) March 6, 2013

Hahahahahaha wow didn’t think there was that many people like me that didn’t get it. Hahahaha quality

— Ridgy 6(@liam_ridgewell) March 6, 2013

Nintendo Lover of the Week

Louis Saha, Lazio

I want to change my first name to Luigi. Fade up to hear my name everywhere in Italy. Coz “Louis” mean “he” and “him”

— louis saha (@louissaha08) March 6, 2013

Nintendo Hater of the Week

Aaron Cresswell, Ipswich Town

That mario needs slapping with a big wet fish right across his cock nose..

— Aaron cresswell (@Aaron_Cresswell) March 6, 2013

Inspiring Message of the Week

Jordan Cook, Charlton Athletic

There’s no better time than NOW… Dnt be the person who says “WHAT IF” #quote

— Jordan Cook (@cookz10) March 6, 2013

Inspiring Message of the Week II

Adam Maher, AZ Alkmaar

When them haters mad, just smile back! twitter.com/Ad8mmaher/stat…

— Adam Maher (@Ad8mmaher) March 5, 2013

Inspiring Message of the Week III

Ikechi Anya, Watford

when you combine music like this youtube.com/watch?v=g_bjfC…with situations on greys anatomy makes a brother reflect on life yo#inGodwetrust

— Ikechi(@IkechiAnya) March 6, 2013

Hear Hear! of the Week

Dean Kiely, West Bromwich Albion goalkeeping coach

Shooting Stars on UK Gold is class #reevesandmortimer are comedy gods

— Dean Kiely (@deankiely40) March 6, 2013

Unlikely Soundalikes of the Week

Anybody just close ur eyes and listen to dieter hamann talk and ud defo say its @robbiesavage8 #uncanny

— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 5, 2013

Insert Your Own Punchline of the Week

I feel like a defender against suarez u no wats gonna happen but u can’t stop it

— James Hurst (@hursty43) March 7, 2013

All-Round Tweet of the Week

Shaka Hislop, ex-Newcastle United, Portsmouth, Reading and West Ham United

I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t. But I just couldn’t help myself. Nicki Minaj- the truth. twitter.com/ShakaHislop/st…

— Shaka Hislop (@ShakaHislop) March 7, 2013

Tune in on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!