It’s…Football Burp’s Football Tweets of the Week!
Get a load of these, already…
Fingering Pussies of the Week
Stan Collymore, talkSPORT
Christ, if Nani did the guy, it truly is a sport for pussies now. Get some common sense in refereeing. Don’t like contact, play bowls.
— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) March 5, 2013
Law is there to protect. Fine. 100 years+ of football history, tackles, physicality is being diluted by pussies, and bureaucrats.
— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) March 5, 2013
Accusation of the Week
Neville Southall, ex-Everton
How many time have British clubs gone out of Europe due to bad refs why don’t they just say they don’t want usFix
— Neville Southall (@NevilleSouthall) March 5, 2013
Zing! of the Week
Johnnie Jackson, Charlton Athletic
@johnnie_jackson I saw you play last weekend, you were nothing like Wayne Rooney…
— Chris Cooke (@chriscooke) March 5, 2013
Proof of the Week
Many of you saying “Never a red card”. Here’s proof it definitely was. twitter.com/NeilCockburn/s…
— Neil Cockburn (@NeilCockburn) March 5, 2013
Collector’s Item of the Week
Irvine Welsh quoting David Moyes
Everton’s David Moyes: “I think tonight Sir Alex Ferguson will be rightly as angry as he has ever been. The decision changed the game.”
— Irvine Welsh (@WelshIrvine) March 5, 2013
Analogy of the Week
Danny Baker
Roy Keane saying United can’t complain strikes me as akin to Simon Cowell saying modern TV is rubbish.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 5, 2013
City Fan of the Week
Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City
My view on the Red card is…who gives a shit it’s gone so get over it and stop crying mwhahaha
— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) March 5, 2013
Arsenal Fan of the Week
Tyrone Mings, Ipswich Town
Eboue getting sent off at old Trafford #DoesntFeelNiceDoesIt #LeaveItFergie twitter.com/tyronemings1/s…
— Tyrone Mings (@tyronemings1) March 5, 2013
Fight! Fight! Fight! of the Week
Christopher Samba, Queens Park Rangers v Roy Keane, ITV
Roy kean said it was right for nani to get sent off shocking
— Samba Christopher (@cs4christsamba1) March 5, 2013
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” of the Week II
Oliver Holt, Daily Mirror v Sue Barker, Question of Sport
And why I didn’t watch the 1000th episode of Question of Sport on Monday. Two words. Sue Barker.
— Oliver Holt (@OllieHolt22) March 5, 2013
Retro Image of the Week
I wonder why Gareth Southgate’s petrified of Roy Keane on ITV’s commentary? The mind boggles… twitter.com/Joey7Barton/st…
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 5, 2013
Tinnitus of the Week
Troy Deeney, Watford
What a result that was brilliant from all the boys winning like games like that give you a buzz you can’t explain #buzzing
— Troy Deeney (@T_Deeney) March 5, 2013
Hit the Bottle? of the Week
Peter Odemwingie, West Bromwich Albion
Can see few jokes coming like not late to drive there now. When will the joke become too old ? I tire o .
— Peter Odemwingie (@OdemwingieP) February 26, 2013
Chortle! of the Week
Darren Huckerby, ex-Norwich City and Coventry City
“@alanbiggs1: Kevin Phillips hat-trick for #cpfc tonight 4 months short of 40th birthdayThe young lad has half a chance if he keeps it up!
— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) March 5, 2013
Self-Deprecation of the Week
Phil Neville, Everton
“@mickykerr: @fizzer18 Where do u think ur best position has been throughout ur career, right/left back, Holding mid, Centre mid?” Sub haha
— phil neville18 (@fizzer18) March 7, 2013
Cocky So-and-Sos of the Week
Shauny Williams and Dean Bowditch, MK Dons and Wilfried Zaha, Crystal Palace
“@shaunywilliams6: Prob the easiest game of footy I’ve ever played in against top of the table #COYD” you can say that again pal!! #coyd
— Dean Bowditch (@deanbowditch9) March 5, 2013
Buzzing after that win #JustTooGood #Cpfc
— Wilfried Zaha (@wilfriedzaha) March 5, 2013
Old Trafford Audition (Other Than Jose Mourinho’s) of the Week
Wilfried Zaha, Crystal Palace
Disappointed to hear about the result #MUFC
— Wilfried Zaha (@wilfriedzaha) March 5, 2013
Way With Words of the Week
Jason McAteer, ex-Republic of Ireland
@mickeymcardle that an the birth of my son. One going in one coming out. Love it
— Jason MCATEER (@MCATEER4) March 5, 2013
Sex Change of the Week
Steve Howey, ex-Newcastle United and Manchester City
with my top girls Natalie Hubbard and Tracy Dawson and Steve Howey
— steve wraith (@stevewraith) March 5, 2013
“Do Tell…” of the Week
Jay Emmanuel-Thomas, Ipswich Town
Unlucky tonight boys, i would have loved to help see that game out. Due to certain circumstances i couldn’t roll on saturday !!!
— Jay Emmanuel-Thomas (@OfficialJET9) March 5, 2013
Adopted Scot of the Week
Manuel Pascali, Kilmarnock
The most annoyin thing the now is i cannae have a proper proper confortable jobbey… I cannae sit properly!!!! Ffs #roadtorecovery
— Manuel Pascali (@paska29) March 5, 2013
Capitalist’s Wet Dream of the Week
Nicky Forster, ex-Brentford, Brighton and Hove Albion, Gillingham and Reading
Which one am I cheating on more by drinking a Costa coffee out of a Starbucks travel mug ! #confuseddotcom
— Nicky Forster (@nickyforster200) March 5, 2013
“What Is He Banging On About?” of the Week
Kazenga LuaLua, Brighton and Hove Albion
There’s not many cool ladies in this world……NO WORDS and KEEP CALM …..
— kazenga (@kazenga25) March 6, 2013
“That’s What She Said!” of the Week
John Oster, Barnet
Little strengthening day today let’s get this hammi back in the game!!! #dontaskmehowlongplease
— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 5, 2013
Pool-Related Gripe of the Week
Jay McEveley, Swindon Town
If ya spin the black when ya setting up a 2 3 yellow C! Your a weapon!!
— jay mceveley (@jaymcev03) March 5, 2013
Intellectual of the Week
Nathan Redmond, Birmingham City
@lovenkrands11 @rosshenderson17 reminded me of Kevin hart…. “EARRHHHH does this make me gay…”
— NathanRedmond#22 (@NathanRedmond22) March 6, 2013
Intellectual of the Week II
Louis Dennis, Dagenham and Redbridge
OMG CELEBRITY JUICE IS TOOOO FUNNY hahahahaha
— Louis Dennis (@LDennis11) March 5, 2013
Virtual Reality of the Week
This guy’s
@craigleastmondOI! playing football manager…and you just got sent off! cheers then….. #hairdrier
— D (@djmfowler) March 5, 2013
Novel Insomnia Cure of the Week
Jason McAteer, ex-Republic of Ireland
I’m in the wide awake club. Need Kev Kilbane to talk me through his career ! I’d soon be a kip. !!!!!#banter
— Jason MCATEER (@MCATEER4) March 6, 2013
Incisive Punditry of the Week
Ian Wright, ex-Arsenal
What do I think about tonight’s game? It’s a tough one, just my humble opinion! Me & @ball_street click here>>bit.ly/utdorreal
— Ian Wright (@IanWright0) March 5, 2013
Incisive Punditry of the Week II
Peter Lovenkrands, Birmingham City
“@benmcguiggin: Do you think the toon will get a result tomorrow pete Fingers crossed.
— Peter Lovenkrands (@lovenkrands11) March 6, 2013
Carnivore of the Week
Sergio Torres, Crawley Town
Great recommendation by Julian Speroni, @barestaurantuksteak was great, oh how I miss my Argie meet
— Sergio Torres (@Sergio_Torres08) March 6, 2013
Obituary of the Week
David Cotterill, Doncaster Rovers
Paul bearer is dead! That guy use to freak me out when he used to come out with the undertaker #wwe #RIP
— David cotterill (@cotterill_david) March 6, 2013
Slowness of the Week
Liam Ridgewell, West Bromwich Albion
Watching Gavin & Stacey, and I have just got the Owine Hughes joke. Only taken 4yrs haha
— Ridgy 6(@liam_ridgewell) March 6, 2013
Hahahahahaha wow didn’t think there was that many people like me that didn’t get it. Hahahaha quality
— Ridgy 6(@liam_ridgewell) March 6, 2013
Nintendo Lover of the Week
Louis Saha, Lazio
I want to change my first name to Luigi. Fade up to hear my name everywhere in Italy. Coz “Louis” mean “he” and “him”
— louis saha (@louissaha08) March 6, 2013
Nintendo Hater of the Week
Aaron Cresswell, Ipswich Town
That mario needs slapping with a big wet fish right across his cock nose..
— Aaron cresswell (@Aaron_Cresswell) March 6, 2013
Inspiring Message of the Week
Jordan Cook, Charlton Athletic
There’s no better time than NOW… Dnt be the person who says “WHAT IF” #quote
— Jordan Cook (@cookz10) March 6, 2013
Inspiring Message of the Week II
Adam Maher, AZ Alkmaar
When them haters mad, just smile back! twitter.com/Ad8mmaher/stat…
— Adam Maher (@Ad8mmaher) March 5, 2013
Inspiring Message of the Week III
Ikechi Anya, Watford
when you combine music like this youtube.com/watch?v=g_bjfC…with situations on greys anatomy makes a brother reflect on life yo#inGodwetrust
— Ikechi(@IkechiAnya) March 6, 2013
Hear Hear! of the Week
Dean Kiely, West Bromwich Albion goalkeeping coach
Shooting Stars on UK Gold is class #reevesandmortimer are comedy gods
— Dean Kiely (@deankiely40) March 6, 2013
Unlikely Soundalikes of the Week
Anybody just close ur eyes and listen to dieter hamann talk and ud defo say its @robbiesavage8 #uncanny
— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 5, 2013
Insert Your Own Punchline of the Week
I feel like a defender against suarez u no wats gonna happen but u can’t stop it
— James Hurst (@hursty43) March 7, 2013
All-Round Tweet of the Week
Shaka Hislop, ex-Newcastle United, Portsmouth, Reading and West Ham United
I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t. But I just couldn’t help myself. Nicki Minaj- the truth. twitter.com/ShakaHislop/st…
— Shaka Hislop (@ShakaHislop) March 7, 2013
Tune in on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!