Football Tweets of the Week: James, van der Sar, Bothroyd, Barton, Neville and more

Edwin van der Sar
van der Sar… Not on the comeback trail (Image: Florian K)

Look out! Football Tweets of the Week, dead ahead!

Or just below! One or the other!

Erm…read on!

Accidental Partridge of the Week

Stan Collymore, talkSPORT

Those thinking summer in Qatar WC is good idea. See you outside the stadium with your factor 1 million on.

— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) March 21, 2013

Giving Up Stalking Naked People of the Week

Kazenga LuaLua, Brighton and Hove Albion

Kazenga LuaLua

Picture of Jay Bothroyd With One of The Rolling Stones of the Week

Met Ronnie last night what a legend and all round nice guy ! twitter.com/jaybothroyd/st…

— Jay bothroyd (@jaybothroyd) March 20, 2013

Early Risers of the Week

Micky Hazard, ex-Tottenham Hotspur


— Micky Hazard (@1MickyHazard) March 20, 2013

Darren Huckerby, ex-Norwich City and Coventry City

Now I know how @wendyhuckerby feels getting up for shift work every morning! #Dying

— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) March 20, 2013

John Oster, Barnet

Wow! I thought there was only 1 6oclock in the day? #brewneeded

— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 20, 2013

Ian Abrahams, talkSPORT

Good Morning Everyone

— Ian Abrahams (@BroadcastMoose) March 20, 2013

Aborted Comeback of the Week

Edwin van der Sar, ex-Manchester United and Fulham

On my way to bed now with an aching body after today’s session so can forget about making a comeback…

— Edwin van der Sar (@vdsar1970) March 19, 2013

Disillusionment of the Week

Louis Dennis, Dagenham and Redbridge

I Really Don’t Feel A Lot Of People Anymore.. I Can’t Even Lie.. There’s Just Nothing There Now

— Louis Dennis (@LDennis11) March 19, 2013

Pop Culture of the Week

Georgie Francomb, Norwich City

Yeah ok gemma who you fooling.. next episode ur gonna be sobbing ya heart out coz arg took your iced bun

— Georgie Francomb (@Francomb_28) March 20, 2013

Worrying Exchange of the Week

Joey Barton, Olympique de Marseille and Phil Neville, Everton

“@rishanandaraj: @fizzer18 what time do you get up to have already done morning gym work??!!!”5.45am-im a busy man!

— phil neville18 (@fizzer18) March 20, 2013

@fizzer18 @rishanandaraj definitely going to be a manager getting up at that hour. All gaffers love about 4 hrs kip…

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 20, 2013

“@joey7bartondefinitely going to be a manager getting up at that hour. All gaffers love about 4 hrs kip” u fancy management joey??

— phil neville18 (@fizzer18) March 20, 2013

@fizzer18 doing my A and B badges in the summer. Only 30, feel 21. Got at least 15 years left playing. They have to carry me off the pitch

— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 20, 2013

Gentle Ribbing of the Week

Darren Eadie, ex-Norwich City and Leicester City

So men have nips because we all start as females in embryo form……. That’s why I like to moan for no reason at all occasionally then! Ha

— Darren Eadie (@eadie11) March 19, 2013

Lost Property of the Week

Vincent Pericard, ex-Stoke City

Anyone knows number of someone working at Birmingham City FC? The Groundsman or security guard or kitman? Urgent!!!

— Vincent Pericard (@VDP_Pericard) March 20, 2013

Uses Archaic Words While Listening to Bland Pop Music of the Week

John Lundstram, Doncaster Rovers (on loan from Everton)

Nothing like a bit of heart when ye driving home la

— John Lundstram (@JohnLunny33) March 20, 2013

Reports of Killings of the Week

Hogan Ephraim, Toronto FC (on loan from Queens Park Rangers)

At the Air Canada Centre with the boy @robertearnshaw watching @rihanna kill it! This girl is a goddess #damnnnnnnnn

— Hogan Ephraim (@HoganEphraim) March 20, 2013

Lloyd Sam, New York Red Bulls

I’m hearing nas killed it in london..any1 go to that?

— Lloyd sam (@MrLloydSam) March 20, 2013

Assurance of the Week

Nile Ranger, Newcastle United

Why do peepz keep worrying about me… I’m SORTED !!! ☺

— Nile ranger (@NilePowerRanger) March 21, 2013

Carnivore of the Week

Juan Agudelo, Chivas

Steak taste better when you eat it with your hands

— Juan Agudelo (@jagudelo11) March 21, 2013

Open Question of the Week

Max Rushden, Soccer AM

Q 2 for @bbc5live – tell us your worst grooming injury….

— Max Rushden (@maxrushden) March 20, 2013

Percy Obsession of the Week

George Lineker, son of Gary

Met a guy called Percy this weekend hahahaha

— George Lineker (@GeorgeLineker) March 17, 2013

I’d love to have a mate called Percy. ‘Alright Percy…wanna go for a beer?’ haha

— George Lineker (@GeorgeLineker) March 20, 2013

Doesn’t Know How to Use the Search Box of the Week

Eddie Oshodi, Forest Green Rovers

Is kendrick lemar on twitter????

— EddieOshodi (@EdwardOshodi) March 21, 2013

Will Surely Be Deleted but Hasn’t Been at the Time of Writing of the Week

Louis Dennis, Dagenham and Redbridge

Why Would You Be In A Public Gym, With Your Top Off.. Baby Oiled Up -_- What A Fag

— Louis Dennis (@LDennis11) March 20, 2013

Multiple Positions of the Week

Jazz Richards, Crystal Palace (on loan from Swansea City)

The slitting bamboo!! Hahaha @ben_davies33

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

@ben_davies33 the hero

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

@ben_davies33 the Crouching tiger!

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

@ben_davies33 the propeller

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

@ben_davies33 the G-Force

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

@ben_davies33 the standing wheelbarrow

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

The sloppy diamond looks unreal! Hahaha #reallytv

— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013

Refutation of the Week

David James, ex-Liverpool, Portsmouth and England, in response to his inclusion in our top 24 freak football injuries for supposedly straining a muscle in his back reaching for the TV remote

@footballburp incorrect!

— David James djf (@jamosfoundation) March 20, 2013

@footballburp I never injured myself reaching for a remote control, or any other battery operated device, as it happens

— David James djf (@jamosfoundation) March 20, 2013

Patron of the Week

Jody Craddock, Wolverhampton Wanderers

Come and join me by following @ballstocancer worthy cause, great bunch of guys, oh yeah and I’m patron.

— Jody Craddock (@MrJodyCraddock) March 20, 2013

News Just In of the Week

Ruud Gullit, ex-Chelsea

Some one put in the news that my father justdied. He died 11 years ago and may he rest in peace… is.gd/4SdLiR

— Ruud Gullit (@GullitR) March 21, 2013

Join us on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!