Look out! Football Tweets of the Week, dead ahead!
Or just below! One or the other!
Erm…read on!
Accidental Partridge of the Week
Stan Collymore, talkSPORT
Those thinking summer in Qatar WC is good idea. See you outside the stadium with your factor 1 million on.
— Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore) March 21, 2013
Giving Up Stalking Naked People of the Week
Kazenga LuaLua, Brighton and Hove Albion
Picture of Jay Bothroyd With One of The Rolling Stones of the Week
Met Ronnie last night what a legend and all round nice guy ! twitter.com/jaybothroyd/st…
— Jay bothroyd (@jaybothroyd) March 20, 2013
Early Risers of the Week
Micky Hazard, ex-Tottenham Hotspur
WHY am I awake at this GOD FORSAKEN HOUR, FOOTBALL THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF, WISH I WAS DREAMING ABOUT IT NOW #SLEEP #TIRED #AWAKE #ZZZZ
— Micky Hazard (@1MickyHazard) March 20, 2013
Darren Huckerby, ex-Norwich City and Coventry City
Now I know how @wendyhuckerby feels getting up for shift work every morning! #Dying
— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) March 20, 2013
John Oster, Barnet
Wow! I thought there was only 1 6oclock in the day? #brewneeded
— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 20, 2013
Ian Abrahams, talkSPORT
Good Morning Everyone
— Ian Abrahams (@BroadcastMoose) March 20, 2013
Aborted Comeback of the Week
Edwin van der Sar, ex-Manchester United and Fulham
On my way to bed now with an aching body after today’s session so can forget about making a comeback…
— Edwin van der Sar (@vdsar1970) March 19, 2013
Disillusionment of the Week
Louis Dennis, Dagenham and Redbridge
I Really Don’t Feel A Lot Of People Anymore.. I Can’t Even Lie.. There’s Just Nothing There Now
— Louis Dennis (@LDennis11) March 19, 2013
Pop Culture of the Week
Georgie Francomb, Norwich City
Yeah ok gemma who you fooling.. next episode ur gonna be sobbing ya heart out coz arg took your iced bun
— Georgie Francomb (@Francomb_28) March 20, 2013
Worrying Exchange of the Week
Joey Barton, Olympique de Marseille and Phil Neville, Everton
“@rishanandaraj: @fizzer18 what time do you get up to have already done morning gym work??!!!”5.45am-im a busy man!
— phil neville18 (@fizzer18) March 20, 2013
@fizzer18 @rishanandaraj definitely going to be a manager getting up at that hour. All gaffers love about 4 hrs kip…
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 20, 2013
“@joey7bartondefinitely going to be a manager getting up at that hour. All gaffers love about 4 hrs kip” u fancy management joey??
— phil neville18 (@fizzer18) March 20, 2013
@fizzer18 doing my A and B badges in the summer. Only 30, feel 21. Got at least 15 years left playing. They have to carry me off the pitch
— Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) March 20, 2013
Gentle Ribbing of the Week
Darren Eadie, ex-Norwich City and Leicester City
So men have nips because we all start as females in embryo form……. That’s why I like to moan for no reason at all occasionally then! Ha
— Darren Eadie (@eadie11) March 19, 2013
Lost Property of the Week
Vincent Pericard, ex-Stoke City
Anyone knows number of someone working at Birmingham City FC? The Groundsman or security guard or kitman? Urgent!!!
— Vincent Pericard (@VDP_Pericard) March 20, 2013
Uses Archaic Words While Listening to Bland Pop Music of the Week
John Lundstram, Doncaster Rovers (on loan from Everton)
Nothing like a bit of heart when ye driving home la
— John Lundstram (@JohnLunny33) March 20, 2013
Reports of Killings of the Week
Hogan Ephraim, Toronto FC (on loan from Queens Park Rangers)
At the Air Canada Centre with the boy @robertearnshaw watching @rihanna kill it! This girl is a goddess #damnnnnnnnn
— Hogan Ephraim (@HoganEphraim) March 20, 2013
Lloyd Sam, New York Red Bulls
I’m hearing nas killed it in london..any1 go to that?
— Lloyd sam (@MrLloydSam) March 20, 2013
Assurance of the Week
Nile Ranger, Newcastle United
Why do peepz keep worrying about me… I’m SORTED !!! ☺
— Nile ranger (@NilePowerRanger) March 21, 2013
Carnivore of the Week
Juan Agudelo, Chivas
Steak taste better when you eat it with your hands
— Juan Agudelo (@jagudelo11) March 21, 2013
Open Question of the Week
Max Rushden, Soccer AM
Q 2 for @bbc5live – tell us your worst grooming injury….
— Max Rushden (@maxrushden) March 20, 2013
Percy Obsession of the Week
George Lineker, son of Gary
Met a guy called Percy this weekend hahahaha
— George Lineker (@GeorgeLineker) March 17, 2013
I’d love to have a mate called Percy. ‘Alright Percy…wanna go for a beer?’ haha
— George Lineker (@GeorgeLineker) March 20, 2013
Doesn’t Know How to Use the Search Box of the Week
Eddie Oshodi, Forest Green Rovers
Is kendrick lemar on twitter????
— EddieOshodi (@EdwardOshodi) March 21, 2013
Will Surely Be Deleted but Hasn’t Been at the Time of Writing of the Week
Louis Dennis, Dagenham and Redbridge
Why Would You Be In A Public Gym, With Your Top Off.. Baby Oiled Up -_- What A Fag
— Louis Dennis (@LDennis11) March 20, 2013
Multiple Positions of the Week
Jazz Richards, Crystal Palace (on loan from Swansea City)
The slitting bamboo!! Hahaha @ben_davies33
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
@ben_davies33 the hero
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
@ben_davies33 the Crouching tiger!
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
@ben_davies33 the propeller
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
@ben_davies33 the G-Force
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
@ben_davies33 the standing wheelbarrow
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
The sloppy diamond looks unreal! Hahaha #reallytv
— jazz richards (@jazzrichards) March 20, 2013
Refutation of the Week
David James, ex-Liverpool, Portsmouth and England, in response to his inclusion in our top 24 freak football injuries for supposedly straining a muscle in his back reaching for the TV remote
@footballburp incorrect!
— David James djf (@jamosfoundation) March 20, 2013
@footballburp I never injured myself reaching for a remote control, or any other battery operated device, as it happens
— David James djf (@jamosfoundation) March 20, 2013
Patron of the Week
Jody Craddock, Wolverhampton Wanderers
Come and join me by following @ballstocancer worthy cause, great bunch of guys, oh yeah and I’m patron.
— Jody Craddock (@MrJodyCraddock) March 20, 2013
News Just In of the Week
Ruud Gullit, ex-Chelsea
Some one put in the news that my father justdied. He died 11 years ago and may he rest in peace… is.gd/4SdLiR
— Ruud Gullit (@GullitR) March 21, 2013
Join us on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!