Football Tweets of the Week: Cole, Ramis, Horlock, Earnshaw, Davies and many more!

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Steaua fans… Nitpickers

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Splitting Hairs of the Week

Supporters of Romanian side Steaua Bucharest

At Stamford Bridge where there are boos from the away end as the announcer welcomes “our visitors from the Czech Republic”.

— Miguel Delaney (@MiguelDelaney) March 14, 2013

Spoke Too Soon of the Week

Aaron Tshibola, Reading, Tommie Hoban, Watford and Robbie Simpson, Oldham Athletic

Woke up to see Tottenham getting pumped lol

— Aaron Tshibola (@AaronTshibola8) March 14, 2013

Oh when the spurs…looool

— Tommie Hoban (@tommiehoban05) March 14, 2013

Spurs! Hahahahahaha #seasonwillcrumble #again

— Robbie Simpson (@RobbieSimmo) March 14, 2013

Satire of the Week

Gabriel Zakuani, Peterborough United and Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City

Spurs have proved everyone right tonight, we all said just like Oscar Pistorius they’d be f*cked without Bale.

— Gabriel Zakuani (@Gabs50Zakuani) March 14, 2013

Buzzing for Arsenal fans tonight they could finally have something to cheer about… #interspurs

— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) March 14, 2013

Not Getting Either of the Week

Gabriel Zakuani, Peterborough United and Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City

Can you lot stop mentioning dates when it comes to #SteakAndBJDay my wife thinks its weekly

— Gabriel Zakuani (@Gabs50Zakuani) March 14, 2013

Told the wife I want the steak medium and the blowjob well done…… #steakandblowjobday

— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) March 14, 2013

Self-Deprecating Quip in Response to the Above Kevin Horlock Tweet of the Week

This guy

@kevinhorlock6 mine are generally rare.

— david hughes (@djhughes82) March 14, 2013

Hopeful of the Week

Adrian Forbes, Norwich City Academy coach

So on steak and you know what day I’ve just had a Chinese. Not a good start if you ask me #theresstilltime

— Adrian Forbes (@forbesy7) March 14, 2013

Revealing Analogy of the Week

Wes Foderingham, Swindon Town

This freezing weather is like herpes… Just when you think it’s gone that ish comes back with a vengeance!

— Wes Foderingham (@wes_foderingham) March 11, 2013

OCD of the Week

David James, Bournemouth

OCD is kicking in! Same song, Django, been played for over an hour now! Better go and count my vinyl!

— David James djf (@jamosfoundation) March 14, 2013

Scouting Report of the Week

Ivan Ramis, Wigan Athletic

Spectacular match yesterday’s night. I had not looked at Barcelona at that level.Messi what a player!

— Iván Ramis 21 (@21IvanRamis) March 13, 2013

Ongoing Feud of the Week

Ashley Cole, Chelsea

Why are arsenal fans still going on about that tweet, I done that when i first came on here, I’m bored of that kinda banta now #yawn

— Ashley Cole (@TheRealAC3) March 13, 2013

‘Banter’ of the Week

David Cotterill, Doncaster Rovers

Has anyone found @jordanball1209 first touch today??? The boy is officially having a torrid!!

— David cotterill (@cotterill_david) March 14, 2013

Plug of the Week

Max Rushden, Soccer AM

*corporate tweet* buy all this Golf stuff please: subseventy.co.uk/shop/ *i am not paid for this*

— Max Rushden (@maxrushden) March 14, 2013

Plug of the Week II

Ian Henderson, Rochdale

Get following @stuckuppussyvip my boy is putting a night on in Peterborough.

— Ian Henderson (@hendo2401) March 14, 2013

Alienation of the Week

Luke Dobie, Bristol City, from Ormskirk

Gutted the way nobody in Bristol understands me man, Its as if I’m speaking another language.

— Luke Dobie (@LukeJDobie) March 14, 2013

Forfeit of the Week

Leroy Lita, Sheffield Wednesday (on loan from Swansea City)

Eating pigs belly cos I lost a bet and now I have to do it twitter.com/LeroyLita8/sta…

— Leroy Lita (@LeroyLita8) March 11, 2013

Belly feels horrendous do not eat pigs belly or chicken feet please people

— Leroy Lita (@LeroyLita8) March 11, 2013

“Hey, Isn’t That Sammy Ameobi Rolling Around on a Trolley?” of the Week

Sammy Ameobi, Middlesbrough (on loan from Newcastle United)

Still have that childhood urge to roll around on the big trolleys when I come to Ikea…got some funny looks!

— Samuel Ameobi (@Sammy_Ameobi) March 13, 2013

Unsuccessful Gambler of the Week

Derrick Williams, Aston Villa

Cheltenham can smd

— Derrick Williams (@DerickWilliams_) March 13, 2013

Late Night of the Week

Ibrahima Sonko, Akhisar Belediyespor

Le soleil se leve moi je me couche . Tout sa a cause de J debouze ..My night end here ..French comedy show what a laugh..same when I wake up

— Ibrahima Sonko (@Ibsonko) March 11, 2013

Breath Like Spencer Prior of the Week

Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City

Just watched Good Morning and decided to get involved with the Banana and Marmite toastie #neveragain now got a breath like @spencerprior

— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) March 11, 2013

Accolade of the Week

Simon Cox, Nottingham Forest

#NFFC Fans, follow the most hardworking player on the pitch’s fan page!

— Simon Cox FANS (@SimonCoxFans) March 13, 2013

Not a Simon Cox Fan Club Member of the Week

Guy Moussi, Nottingham Forest

@scoxy31real Errrrrr How terrible he looks!!!!!! Ahhahhahahha twitter.com/Guy_Moussi/sta…

— Guy MOUSSI (@Guy_Moussi) March 11, 2013

Prune Enthusiast of the Week

Darren Ward, Swindon Town

Low in fat and high in nutrients? Look no further than Prunes, take a look at my blog bit.ly/ZpKf39 fb.me/2s03K6BqK

— Darren Ward (@DarrenWard18) March 13, 2013

Strange Use of ‘Decent’ of the Week

Carlton Cole, West Ham United

England’s nuts, snowing and raining at the same damn time ! Deeceenttt!

— Carlton Cole (@CarltonCole1) March 13, 2013

Dork of the Week

Carlton Cole, West Ham United

I love my true #tripleF‘s (family, friends and last but not least my Fans) #boom

— Carlton Cole (@CarltonCole1) March 13, 2013

Dork-Baiting of the Week

This guy

@carltoncole1 I thought you were going to say felching

— Les Sim (@Les_WHUFC) March 13, 2013

Unlikely Strike Duo of the Week

Robert Earnshaw and Jay-Z

My friend Jay Z twitter.com/RobertEarnshaw…

— Robert Earnshaw (@RobertEarnshaw) March 13, 2013

Product Review of the Week

John Oster, Barnet

Anybody tried that vita coco drink? Just shows u don’t need to go to Egypt to try camels piss! #rank #dontgetsuckedin

— John Oster (@johnnyost) March 13, 2013

Hilarious Prank Victim of the Week

Shaun Barker, Derby County

I leave the room for a minute and this is what happens to my iPod! I know who it was and I’m surprised! #norespect twitter.com/barks5/status/…

— Shaun Barker (@barks5) March 11, 2013

Mistaken Identity of the Week

Jon Stead, Bristol City

“@liammcclelland: @jonstead9 met you in KFC earlier with the #Huish3rds #BristolCityTwitterFamily” no you didn’t! #hateKFC

— jonathan stead (@jonstead9) March 13, 2013

Warren Barton Retweeted This of the Week

omg we have a pope.i hope hes cool.

— brooklyn aguirre (@brooklynaguirre) March 13, 2013

“Reports of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated of the Week

Nile Ranger, Newcastle United

Hi @nilepowerranger, just wanted to wish you all the best at Workington Reds. Let me know how Non-League works out for you. #Failure

— G. (@GallowgateView) March 13, 2013

Lool so now I know there is a lot of dumb ass people in this world…. NON LEAGUE LOOOOOOOOL stop it

— Nile ranger (@NilePowerRanger) March 13, 2013

Might sign 4 ma local pub team doe ;)

— Nile ranger (@NilePowerRanger) March 13, 2013

Stream of Consciousness of the Week

Darren O’Dea, Toronto FC

How do u apply 2 become pope? Is it a sort of xfactor ting!? I’d jus love 2 get through to the judges houses! Goin to a stable in bethlehem!

— Darren O’Dea (@odea_darren) March 13, 2013

Crisis of the Week

Geoff Cameron, Stoke City

Anyone ever get that feeling of your ear needing a pop!So annoying!!! Any advice??

— Geoff Cameron (@GeoffCameron) March 13, 2013

Reaction to Pope Installation of the Week

Danny Baker

Fuck. There goes the Falklands.

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 13, 2013

Confusion of the Week

Peter Reid

Best pope in the world & best footballer both Argentinians.

— Peter Reid (@reid6peter) March 13, 2013

“@conorflanagan96: @reid6peter There’s only one Pope, so how can he be the best?”One just retired.

— Peter Reid (@reid6peter) March 13, 2013

@reid6peter Exactly, there’s only one…

— Conor Flanagan (@ConorFlanagan96) March 13, 2013

Image of the Week

Curtis Davies, Birmingham City

My lil one decided Ken was gonna be a sunbathing/nudist/peeping Tom LOL twitter.com/thecurtisdavie…

— Curtis Davies (@thecurtisdavies) March 14, 2013

Join us on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!