“Football Tweets of the Week?”
“Just the one, ta. I’m watching my figure.”
“Sorry, I tried to shake out just the one but loads came out.”
“That’s okay, I’ll treat myself.”
Yes, it’s Football Tweets of the Week!
Spot the England Striker of the Week
#GLASTONBURY2013 pic.twitter.com/zlsmyUFiQd
— Claire Rooney (@claireroon) June 27, 2013
“I Should Know” of the Week
Francis Jeffers, ex-Everton
I tell u wat will happen with bainesy we will sell him say we didn't want to and blame player same shit different day #experience
— Francis Jeffers (@FJ10official) June 27, 2013
Catch of the Week
Tony Hibbert, Everton
Tony Hibbert on the front of @angling_times this week! @sylvaind15tin @therealstevenpi @fizzer18 @D_gibson4 pic.twitter.com/KHsIbBRLH9
— Steve Fitzpatrick (@AnglingTimesEd) June 24, 2013
Illusionist of the Week
Sammy Ameobi, Newcastle United
Also guess who got asked to do some topless modelling in Hollister?! pic.twitter.com/NWYbCvfJBy
— Samuel Ameobi (@Sammy_Ameobi) June 26, 2013
Tennis Commentator of the Week
Gary Lineker, Match of the Day
Rafa appears to be struggling as much with the positioning of his penis, as his balls.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 24, 2013
Full of Suggestions of the Week
Johan Cruyff
Cruyff to Barca: – You should sell Messi. Cruyff to Jay-Z: – You should change name Cruyff to Obama: – You should sell the White House
— Jan Aage Fjortoft (@JanAageFjortoft) June 25, 2013
Never Gets Old of the Week
Calling your girlfriend Tahiti because she kicks off every 5 minutes.
— Sunday League Footy (@SundayChants) June 24, 2013
Joker of the Week
Laurent Blanc, new Paris Saint-Germain manager
Laurent Blanc : " Bonjour à tous, je félicite tout d'abord le président pour son 1er discours en Français " #PSG
— PSG Officiel (@PSG_inside) June 27, 2013
Hello everyone. First of all I would like to congratulate the president upon his first conversation in French.
Kecks of the Week
Peter Schmeichel, ex-Manchester United
I like my trousers better that Kaspers..!! pic.twitter.com/jMYxDiw0wM
— Peter Schmeichel (@Pschmeichel1) June 27, 2013
Getting Too Old for Arts and Crafts of the Week
Dominic Samuel, Reading
Cutting shapes is getting kinda old now
— Doms (@DominicSamuel9) June 25, 2013
Speed Demon of the Week
Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City and Swindon Town
Tempted to try and beat my personal best for 100m of 22.6 seconds … pic.twitter.com/6X5hcPzN0u
— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) June 25, 2013
“Why Don’t You Listen to It and Find Out?” of the Week
Zak Ansah, Arsenal
Downloaded mac millers album , any good ?
— Zak Ansah (@ZakAnsah) June 26, 2013
Supporters’ Club of the Week
Queens Park Rangers Loyal Supporters Association, there to loyally support whatever QPR do
“@QPR_LSA: @dannysimpson welcome to QPR from the Loyal Supporters Association.” Thank You
— Danny Simpson (@dannysimpson) June 27, 2013
…or you could join the QPR Disloyal Supporters Association.
Clash of the Week
Clarke Carlisle v wasp beetle
Can anyone enlighten me on what the HELL this thing is in our house?!? pic.twitter.com/8SlqAz2A0I
— Clarke Carlisle (@clarkecarlisle5) June 25, 2013
Aaaawwww(demwingie) of the Week
My sons friend Froggie has had enough and fell to sleep. Maybe the slippery guy needs some water ? Haha pic.twitter.com/KB69sAwUdJ
— Peter Odemwingie (@OdemwingieP) June 25, 2013
“I See Dumb People” of the Week
Jake Jervis, Elazığspor
How can a guy come into the doctors and not no his date of birth damn fool
— Jake 'Mario' Jervis (@JJervis20) June 26, 2013
Man Crush of the Week
Darren Huckerby, ex-Coventry City, Leeds United, Manchester City and Norwich City
Not only is Pirlo a amazing player he also has a beard like Al Pacino in Carlitos Way #BadAss
— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) June 27, 2013
Man Crush of the Week II
Aden Flint, Bristol City
Gianluca Vialli such a dreamboat Christ!!
— Aden Flint (@AFlint4) June 27, 2013
Indiscriminate Nostalgia Enthusiast of the Week
Matty Kennedy, Everton
Nothing beats an old song!!
— MattyKennedy31 (@MattyKennedy31) June 25, 2013
Promotion of the Week
David Gold, West Ham United co-chairman
“@soonunit: I've pre-ordered the new shirt, which day will it arrive? Sorry I can't help James I've been promoted from the post room. dg
— David Gold (@DavidGoldWHU) June 26, 2013
Complaint of the Week
Ben George, Walsall
Any danger of evian having some decent looking baby's on that app? Every single one ive seen has been overly ugly!
— Ben George (@BennGx) June 25, 2013
Embattled-ness of the Week
Ben Osborn, Nottingham Forest
Does everyone's mum and dad just have a go at you 24/7 or is it just mine?
— Ben Osborn (@OsbornOn1) June 25, 2013
Good Taste of the Week
Graeme Le Saux, ex-Blackburn Rovers and Chelsea
Very Glastonbury, retro with a modern twist. Beautiful when played loudly in a field. @glastoFest @thisistunng http://t.co/BbJVcwg5Y9
— Graeme le Saux (@graemelesaux14) June 26, 2013
Freebies of the Week
Michael Owen
Just received another box of presents from China. The kids think its Christmas! pic.twitter.com/5ZahkNEKZY
— michael owen (@themichaelowen) June 27, 2013
Fondly Remembered Japery of the Weekend
Kevin Stewart, Tottenham Hotspur
I Remember At School When Someone Was Eating Something, We'd Ask Them If Its Juicy & If They Said Yes We'd Sulaaapp It Out There Hand LOL
— Kevin Stewart (@KevStewart93) June 27, 2013
Film Critic of the Week
Tyrone Mings, Ipswich Town
I'll give snitch a solid 5/10. Nothing happened throughout the whole film! The rock needs to stick to chucking people over the top rope
— Tyrone Mings (@tyronemings1) June 27, 2013
Mid-’90s Flashback of the Week
Cast and Dion Dublin
Fab night, inspiring film and cool tunes afterwards. Jp pic.twitter.com/d1FIaTnwUx
— Cast (@castofficial) June 25, 2013
@castofficial hi chaps hope you are all well!
— Dion Dublin (@DionDublinsDube) June 25, 2013
@DionDublinsDube All good Dion , cheers Jp
— Cast (@castofficial) June 26, 2013
Good to hear young man @castofficial
— Dion Dublin (@DionDublinsDube) June 26, 2013
Non-Football Tweet of the Week
Bob Mortimer
FOR SALE: Very robust alias, 'George Cauldwell'..would work well in,eg, commercial property fraud: £8.00
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) June 25, 2013
Tune in on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!