Football Tweets of the Week: Rooney, Jeffers, Blanc, Schmeichel and more!

Rooneys… Slumming it with a helicopter (Image: @ClaireRoon / Twitter)

“Football Tweets of the Week?”

“Just the one, ta. I’m watching my figure.”

“Sorry, I tried to shake out just the one but loads came out.”

“That’s okay, I’ll treat myself.”

Yes, it’s Football Tweets of the Week!

Spot the England Striker of the Week

#GLASTONBURY2013 pic.twitter.com/zlsmyUFiQd

— Claire Rooney (@claireroon) June 27, 2013

“I Should Know” of the Week

Francis Jeffers, ex-Everton

I tell u wat will happen with bainesy we will sell him say we didn't want to and blame player same shit different day #experience

— Francis Jeffers (@FJ10official) June 27, 2013

Catch of the Week

Tony Hibbert, Everton

Tony Hibbert on the front of @angling_times this week! @sylvaind15tin @therealstevenpi @fizzer18 @D_gibson4 pic.twitter.com/KHsIbBRLH9

— Steve Fitzpatrick (@AnglingTimesEd) June 24, 2013

Illusionist of the Week

Sammy Ameobi, Newcastle United

Also guess who got asked to do some topless modelling in Hollister?! pic.twitter.com/NWYbCvfJBy

— Samuel Ameobi (@Sammy_Ameobi) June 26, 2013

Tennis Commentator of the Week

Gary Lineker, Match of the Day

Rafa appears to be struggling as much with the positioning of his penis, as his balls.

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 24, 2013

Full of Suggestions of the Week

Johan Cruyff

Cruyff to Barca: – You should sell Messi. Cruyff to Jay-Z: – You should change name Cruyff to Obama: – You should sell the White House

— Jan Aage Fjortoft (@JanAageFjortoft) June 25, 2013

Never Gets Old of the Week

Calling your girlfriend Tahiti because she kicks off every 5 minutes.

— Sunday League Footy (@SundayChants) June 24, 2013

Joker of the Week

Laurent Blanc, new Paris Saint-Germain manager

Laurent Blanc : " Bonjour à tous, je félicite tout d'abord le président pour son 1er discours en Français " #PSG

— PSG Officiel (@PSG_inside) June 27, 2013

Hello everyone. First of all I would like to congratulate the president upon his first conversation in French.

Kecks of the Week

Peter Schmeichel, ex-Manchester United

I like my trousers better that Kaspers..!! pic.twitter.com/jMYxDiw0wM

— Peter Schmeichel (@Pschmeichel1) June 27, 2013

Getting Too Old for Arts and Crafts of the Week

Dominic Samuel, Reading

Cutting shapes is getting kinda old now

— Doms (@DominicSamuel9) June 25, 2013

Speed Demon of the Week

Kevin Horlock, ex-Manchester City and Swindon Town

Tempted to try and beat my personal best for 100m of 22.6 seconds … pic.twitter.com/6X5hcPzN0u

— Kevin Horlock (@Kevinhorlock6) June 25, 2013

“Why Don’t You Listen to It and Find Out?” of the Week

Zak Ansah, Arsenal

Downloaded mac millers album , any good ?

— Zak Ansah (@ZakAnsah) June 26, 2013

Supporters’ Club of the Week

Queens Park Rangers Loyal Supporters Association, there to loyally support whatever QPR do

@QPR_LSA: @dannysimpson welcome to QPR from the Loyal Supporters Association.” Thank You

— Danny Simpson (@dannysimpson) June 27, 2013

…or you could join the QPR Disloyal Supporters Association.

Clash of the Week

Clarke Carlisle v wasp beetle

Can anyone enlighten me on what the HELL this thing is in our house?!? pic.twitter.com/8SlqAz2A0I

— Clarke Carlisle (@clarkecarlisle5) June 25, 2013

Aaaawwww(demwingie) of the Week

My sons friend Froggie has had enough and fell to sleep. Maybe the slippery guy needs some water ? Haha pic.twitter.com/KB69sAwUdJ

— Peter Odemwingie (@OdemwingieP) June 25, 2013

“I See Dumb People” of the Week

Jake Jervis, Elazığspor

How can a guy come into the doctors and not no his date of birth damn fool

— Jake 'Mario' Jervis (@JJervis20) June 26, 2013

Man Crush of the Week

Darren Huckerby, ex-Coventry City, Leeds United, Manchester City and Norwich City

Not only is Pirlo a amazing player he also has a beard like Al Pacino in Carlitos Way #BadAss

— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) June 27, 2013

Man Crush of the Week II

Aden Flint, Bristol City

Gianluca Vialli such a dreamboat Christ!!

— Aden Flint (@AFlint4) June 27, 2013

Indiscriminate Nostalgia Enthusiast of the Week

Matty Kennedy, Everton

Nothing beats an old song!!

— MattyKennedy31 (@MattyKennedy31) June 25, 2013

Promotion of the Week

David Gold, West Ham United co-chairman

@soonunit: I've pre-ordered the new shirt, which day will it arrive? Sorry I can't help James I've been promoted from the post room. dg

— David Gold (@DavidGoldWHU) June 26, 2013

Complaint of the Week

Ben George, Walsall

Any danger of evian having some decent looking baby's on that app? Every single one ive seen has been overly ugly!

— Ben George (@BennGx) June 25, 2013

Embattled-ness of the Week

Ben Osborn, Nottingham Forest

Does everyone's mum and dad just have a go at you 24/7 or is it just mine?

— Ben Osborn (@OsbornOn1) June 25, 2013

Good Taste of the Week

Graeme Le Saux, ex-Blackburn Rovers and Chelsea

Very Glastonbury, retro with a modern twist. Beautiful when played loudly in a field. @glastoFest @thisistunng http://t.co/BbJVcwg5Y9

— Graeme le Saux (@graemelesaux14) June 26, 2013

Freebies of the Week

Michael Owen

Just received another box of presents from China. The kids think its Christmas! pic.twitter.com/5ZahkNEKZY

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) June 27, 2013

Fondly Remembered Japery of the Weekend

Kevin Stewart, Tottenham Hotspur

I Remember At School When Someone Was Eating Something, We'd Ask Them If Its Juicy & If They Said Yes We'd Sulaaapp It Out There Hand LOL

— Kevin Stewart (@KevStewart93) June 27, 2013

Film Critic of the Week

Tyrone Mings, Ipswich Town

I'll give snitch a solid 5/10. Nothing happened throughout the whole film! The rock needs to stick to chucking people over the top rope

— Tyrone Mings (@tyronemings1) June 27, 2013

Mid-’90s Flashback of the Week

Cast and Dion Dublin

Fab night, inspiring film and cool tunes afterwards. Jp pic.twitter.com/d1FIaTnwUx

— Cast (@castofficial) June 25, 2013

@castofficial hi chaps hope you are all well!

— Dion Dublin (@DionDublinsDube) June 25, 2013

@DionDublinsDube All good Dion , cheers Jp

— Cast (@castofficial) June 26, 2013

Good to hear young man @castofficial

— Dion Dublin (@DionDublinsDube) June 26, 2013

Non-Football Tweet of the Week

Bob Mortimer

FOR SALE: Very robust alias, 'George Cauldwell'..would work well in,eg, commercial property fraud: £8.00

— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) June 25, 2013

Tune in on Monday for our Football Tweets of the Weekend!