Barcelona sign Luis Suárez for £75m – but here’s what they could have had…

Unearthing some eye-opening hypothetical alternatives to lashing all that money on the chompy chap.

Barcelona sign Luis Suárez, aka this guy
Lucky Luis (Image: Jimmy Baikovicius)

Barcelona sign Luis Suárez for £75m from Liverpool at their own risk – they’ll get their 30+ goals for that whopping great transfer fee, most likely, but there will be bites.

By gum, there will be bites.


Anyway, what else could you get these days with that sort of money? We had a look and found the following five recent examples of things that cost the same as Luis Suárez…

A make-over for Liverpool’s stadium

The Reds have chosen construction giants Carillion to expand Anfield’s capacity to 59,000 – the price? Why, £75m of course.

We can but hope that this wasn’t just a builder’s impromptu ‘estimate’ having got wind of the Suárez.

Any which way, this could become a novel way to pay for a player in the future – pay for the stadium upgrade their club have always craved.

MORE: Liverpool pick Carillion for £75m Anfield expansion

A mansion that’s next door to the Queen

The five-storey townhouse overlooking St James’s Park is up for grabs for £75m! Mind you, it supposedly needs another £25m spent to make it habitable.

But Barcelona could enjoy taking tea and crumpets with Her Majesty on occasion. Better get the gaff done up before inviting Her over, though.

MORE: The £100m fixer-upper: £75m mansion next door to the Queen… but it needs a makeover

The Hallmark Hotels portfolio

Consisting of eight luxury four-star hotels “across the UK, including Croydon, Manchester and Gloucester”, the Hallmark portfolio has just been snapped up by privately owned property company Topland.

As far as we’re aware there’s no connection with Hallmark greeting cards, so Barcelona wouldn’t get any freebies with which to welcome him.

They would however get a bunch of decent hotels scattered around the UK. They could arrange friendlies against Croydon FC, Manchester United and Gloucester City.

MORE: Hallmark Hotels bought by Topland for £75m

Paying off the total unpaid congestion charges owed to London by foreign embassies

Think that sounds a bit Daily Mail? That’s because the ‘story’ was indeed broken by Britain’s favourite ‘fascistista’. And, unsurprisingly, by no-one else.

Except the Express.

Let’s say Barcelona did foot the bill, though – that would have been a great stroke of PR in all sorts of nations. Unlike taking on Suárez.

Modernising the home of Cadbury’s chocolate

An investment of £75m will apparently safeguard the next generation of manufacturing at the site, and would surely merit free chocolate for life.

MORE: Cadbury factory gets £75m boost

Luis Suárez or free chocolate for life? We know where our vote lies. Now have a celebration, folks – it’s not every day that Barcelona sign Luis Suárez for £75m.