North London giants commit to bogey ground as part of Red Nose Day.
Winged destroyer rewarded for dispatching Arsenal, Liverpool, Man City and Man Utd in recent weeks.
Clubs agree with two-bit satirical websites to release statement in comedic pidgin English.
In-form star bagged his third consecutive brace in 2-0 win over Chelsea.
Hit back at critics making light of Champions League exit by immediately booking place in Europa draw.