Tearfully recounts subsisting on fresh seafood, fine wine and oceanic climate.
Statistical comparison to be deployed as "sort of a security BBC test card" as global media tensions mount.
Real Sociedad manager also dancing like a loon right now, according to series of faintly amusing Vine clips.
Also signs Rosetta Stone language tapes for 15 euros plus Phil Neville.
Young suffered a sickening collision with the ground before arousing suspicion by appearing to emerge from the incident unscathed.