Manchester United

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Everton line up £35m Stormzy as Lukaku replacement

UK grime star lined up to replace United-bound Lukaku.

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Zlatan Ibrahimović returns to home planet

Veteran striker recuperating back on Blorxzorg-Vulpennqualtz VIVIVI.

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Trading Standards investigate transfer of “world class” Pogba

Institute acts after flurry of reports from fans claiming to have seen him play.


The best Marouane Fellaini jokes after red card for Agüero headbutt

Man Utd midfielder sent off in goalless Manchester derby.


VIDEO: Boy points out late Man City goal against United is offside to celebrating woman

From delight to devastation in the stands at the Etihad for goalless draw.