Veteran striker recuperating back on Blorxzorg-Vulpennqualtz VIVIVI.
Institute acts after flurry of reports from fans claiming to have seen him play.
Man Utd midfielder sent off in goalless Manchester derby.
From delight to devastation in the stands at the Etihad for goalless draw.
Inexplicably reporting on the mundane interaction.
Man Utd boss angered by senseless waste of Dortmund explosion.
Supporters draw the line at drawn-out shenanigans.
Rumoured to be receiving up to £100k per week.
Gary Neville provides beats.