Man Utd boss acquires power to customise his results and achievements.
Deal for continued top-flight presence includes free Snodgrass.
Goals from Mata and Fellaini prompt celestial apparition during 2-0 win over Hull.
Replaces man with boring, unrefined Irish name.
Spotted playing against each other in Hull last night.
"Apparently Mickey Mouse sponsors it now," says deflated supporter.
Mourinho assumes form of giant snake as Phelan stomps balloons in anguish.
Turns down rival offers from Uber, Starbucks and Newcastle United.