The best jokes as Wayne Rooney is sentenced for drink-driving

Banned from driving for 2 years and ordered to perform 100 hours of unpaid work.

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Everton to don Angry Birds on shirt sleeves in show of solidarity with Wayne Rooney

Toffees team-mates to express sympathy for star's marital troubles.


The best jokes as Wayne Rooney is arrested on suspicion of drink driving

Ahead of the first England match following international retirement.

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Wayne Rooney retires from international tournament failure

Calls time on thwarted efforts against packed minnow defences.

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Man Utd eye £50m Rooney as Real Madrid close in on Lukaku

Mourinho watches discretely from stands as Toffees ace scores at Man City.

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“I can still procreate at the top level,” roars resurgent Rooney

Now just fourteen children away from becoming Rooney family's all-time top scorer.

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Duncan Ferguson volunteers to steward at Hajduk Split v Everton

Former player-bouncer cum coach wants a piece of the action in partial Balkan state cum electronic music festival hot spot.

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Everton fans spot hairline continuity error in Rooney’s Man Utd career

"It was all CGI, stock footage and his secret twin brother," claim conspiracy theorist Toffees.


VIDEO: Phil Neville can’t count to four during The Debate show on Sky Sports

Repeated the number one three times, then skipped straight to four.