Toffees team-mates to express sympathy for star's marital troubles.
Catch-up with pal escalates quickly.
Mourinho watches discretely from stands as Toffees ace scores at Man City.
Now just fourteen children away from becoming Rooney family's all-time top scorer.
Former player-bouncer cum coach wants a piece of the action in partial Balkan state cum electronic music festival hot spot.
"It was all CGI, stock footage and his secret twin brother," claim conspiracy theorist Toffees.