England Page 3


The best jokes from England 2-1 Slovakia, World Cup qualifier at Wembley

Tough start for the hosts was eventually overcome, Dele Alli gestured towards the referee.

Fake News03.09.17

Harry Kane’s August droughts linked to pollen levels

Striker's perpetually open mouth not conducive to blistering starts, claim scientists.


The best jokes from Malta 0-4 England as late goals flatter visitors

Dismal performance in routine World Cup qualifier.


The best jokes as Wayne Rooney is arrested on suspicion of drink driving

Ahead of the first England match following international retirement.

Fake News24.08.17

Crushing disappointment to continue with England career

Long-standing emotion confirms it will remain with squad despite Rooney retirement.

Fake News23.08.17

Wayne Rooney retires from international tournament failure

Calls time on thwarted efforts against packed minnow defences.

Fake News27.03.17

Lithuania vanquished by England’s footballing nonpareils

A performance for the ages as Three Lions run out 2-0 winners.