News13.10.16 21:42

“England manager should be someone called Gareth,” says Wenger

Arsenal boss pours scorn on idea of job going to an Arsène.

News11.10.16 23:14

England now so boring it’s exciting, survey shows

Now enthralling to see if Three Lions can sustain twenty-year tedium, new study reveals.

Jokes11.10.16 22:50

The best jokes from Slovenia 0-0 England, bore draw ends dismally

Gareth Southgate's second game in charge is tediously boring World Cup qualifier.

News10.10.16 17:55

Southgate offers Rooney paper bag he wore in old Pizza Hut ad

Booed captain benched for Slovenia match, given option of anonymity.

News09.10.16 23:33

National pride restored as England dismantle Malta in 2-0 drubbing

Completely blow away overwhelmed opponents.

Jokes08.10.16 22:27

The best jokes from England 2-0 Malta, Gareth Southgate’s first game in charge

New caretaker manager builds on the boring legacy of his predecessors in World Cup qualifier.

News07.10.16 14:41

Sports minister pledges “a Wayne Rooney that works for everyone”

Tracey Crouch MP vows to "make Rooney great again" by 2018.

News05.10.16 02:30

Sam Allardyce appointed leader-manager of UKIP

Fellow pint of wine enthusiast Nigel Farage instrumental in decision.

News04.10.16 03:00

Sterling hits 3-year low against euro, withdraws from England squad

His replacement Andros Townsend lashed out at Glenn Hoddle.

Jokes03.10.16 03:51

The best jokes as Gareth Southgate gives Glen Johnson England call-up

Inclusion of veteran defender by caretaker manager astounds fans.