Starring Clayton, Benteke, Rooney, Lescott, Wilshere, Ronaldo and more - but no Andre Gray.
"Our Lionesses go back to being mothers, partners and daughters, but they've taken on another title - heroes". D'oh.
Lionesses bow out in most English way imaginable thanks to last-minute wonder-own-goal.
Returning Glastonbury-goers stunned by confirmation of on-site gossip.
Satirical football website finally gets too preachy.
Place in quarter-finals up for grabs.
Look set to bore and frustrate English supporters to a degree hitherto only inflicted by their male counterparts.
"It mortifies me to have presided over the women's team finally matching the standard set by the men's," laments coach Hope Powell