Chelsea

Fake News

“They attacked India in 1963” – Kenedy expands on China slur

Chelsea youngster defends family honour as controversy rages.

Fake News

John Terry was just saying ‘Black Country’ all this time, it turns out

Assumed Anton Ferdinand slur just a big misunderstanding, claims new Villa signing.

Fake News

John Terry family breakfast descends into 5-hour This Is Your Life special

Wife and kids left reeling by latest act of gratuitous self-congratulation.

Fake News

Diego Costa “still being a **** this morning at breakfast”

Not yet exhausted from ****ery in FA Cup win over Man Utd.

Jokes

The best jokes from a day of upsets in the FA Cup fifth round

Last-minute winners against Premier League opposition for both Lincoln and Millwall.

Stories

VIDEO: Burnley fan saves baby from ball during Chelsea match

Outstretched, gloved hand avoids serious injury to the child.

Fake News

Angel of Premier League Title Death named player of the month for January

Winged destroyer rewarded for dispatching Arsenal, Liverpool, Man City and Man Utd in recent weeks.

Fake News

“You know what, give us that Harry Kane guy instead,” say Chinese teams

Clubs agree with two-bit satirical websites to release statement in comedic pidgin English.