Chelsea youngster defends family honour as controversy rages.
Assumed Anton Ferdinand slur just a big misunderstanding, claims new Villa signing.
Wife and kids left reeling by latest act of gratuitous self-congratulation.
Not yet exhausted from ****ery in FA Cup win over Man Utd.
Winged destroyer rewarded for dispatching Arsenal, Liverpool, Man City and Man Utd in recent weeks.
Says something about Brexit too.
Clubs agree with two-bit satirical websites to release statement in comedic pidgin English.