Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers is amused yet incredulous to hear that you’ve never come across a Uruguayan penalty before, especially in your capacity of whatever it is that you do.
The Reds boss, proud and true, was reacting to the latest ‘diving’ furore surrounding his star false 9 Luis Suárez, whose judicious tumble to claim a penalty in Saturday’s 2-2 draw with Aston Villa has been described/excused/fêted as “clever”.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Rodgers explained that what Suárez had done was win a “Uruguayan penalty”, just as Raheem Sterling won a “Spanish penalty” in last week’s 5-3 win at Stoke City.
He grumbled: “You’ve never heard of a Uruguayan penalty? Oh, come on.
“How could you not have done? It happens all the time in Uruguay – the goalkeeper rushes out and his left arm clips some particles of air, causing a domino effect that sends the false 9 crashing ingeniously to the turf.
“It really is spectacularly clever, big too. After all, Luis is a big part of the group, okay, a real warrior of spirit who leaves no stone unturned in his relentless quest for gaining advantages.
“It’s part of the geem, and it got us back in the geem, so it’s fair geem.”
Meanwhile, Suárez’s dive against Villa has been approached by Channel 4 staple Countdown about appearing as a guest in its dictionary corner.
A Channel 4 spokesperson said: “It’s just so clever, isn’t it?
“The Stephen Fry of soft penalties, that’s how clever it is.”