“We’ve solved racism, now go back to bed,” roars drunken Fifa

Fifa was drunk while claiming to have solved racism
BEFUDDLED:Fifa (Image: daniel julià lundgren)

A sozzled Fifa was last night seen milling around pubs loudly claiming to have solved racism to anyone who’d listen.

The world governing body, traditionally controversial, was said to have a sheet of toilet paper stuck to its shoe as it drunkenly boasted.

Other eye-witnesses confirmed Fifa was standing too close and spitting while talking about finally putting the whole racism issue to bed once and for all.

In what are already being described as “bizarre scenes”, Fifa “cavorted” around brandishing its flaccid anti-racism task force.

One onlooker said: “It was shockingly delusional stuff that Fifa was ranting.

“I know for a fact they haven’t solved racism because one of their contingent appeared Arabic and I instinctively despised it.

“So there.”