West Ham v Chelsea violence went off without a hitch during their EFL Cup clash at the Olympic Stadium, leaving both sets of fans to lap up the plaudits.
Concerns that the supporters might unite for some form of far-right rally proved unfounded as they ripped up seats from their moorings and aggressively hurled them at one another.
The sickening clashes provided an ideal backdrop to West Ham’s 2-1 win and drew widespread acclaim from fans of mindless brutality everywhere.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a leading hooligans performance analyst hailed the West Ham v Chelsea violence as “a proud moment for the country, nay humankind”.
They said: “It really does show the very best of England to anyone watching, doesn’t it?
“How heartwarming it is to know that there are still so many football fans out there who are prepared to spill pints of blood for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
“It’s not often that the match itself becomes a total irrelevance, so these fine men can be rightly proud of their achievement.
“Pats on the back all round, I say – very hard pats with chairs.”