Wenger defiance blamed for panto crowd influx in London this morning

Fake News » Wenger defiance blamed for panto crowd influx in London this morning

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Black London cab
Cab… Black (Img: Jimmy Barrett)

London was this morning awash with pantomime crowds seeking to make their voices heard in response to Arsene Wenger’s assertion that Arsenal can overturn a 3-1 deficit at Bayern Munich.

The Frenchman, selectively blind, is plastered all over today’s rags describing victory at the Allianz Arena as “not impossible”, inadvertently alerting panto audiences across the globe to a decidedly excellent opportunity to all shout “OOOOHHH YES IT IIIIISSSS!” in gleeful unison.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an enraged London cabbie said that he “couldn’t move for bleedin’ panter craaahhds” and that the city was “chock-a-block with flippin’ whoopers and hollerers looking for a fix because they’ve been out of bleedin’ operation since the ‘oliday season”.

He said: “They’re all up and dahn the Essex Rahd. They’re all up and dahn the Finchley Rahd.

“They’re all up and dahn the King’s Rahd, the Abbey Rahd, even the bleedin’ Por’a’bella Rahd. ‘ow’m I supposed to get my passengers to the Camden Rahd from the Bedford Rahd if they’re all up and dahn the flippin’ Euston Rahd?”

“I ‘aven’t seen anything like this since Sir Alex Ferguson said Robin van Persie could have been killed by that football what hit him in the face against Swansea. All those wallies out there, they all show up to shout something and realised they ‘adn’t learned their line.

“Some of ’em was shouting ‘Oh no he wasn’t!’, uvvers was shouting – correctly, in my opinion – ‘Oh no he couldn’t have been!’, and so on. It was bleedin’ chaos.

“Wenger aht, I reckon.”

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