Van Persie celebration still ongoing as Arsenal fans’ rage intensifies

Fake News » Van Persie celebration still ongoing as Arsenal fans’ rage intensifies

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Robin van Persie celebration
Robin a-livin’

It’s the Robin van Persie celebration that’s sweeping the nation! However, not everyone is partying along bodaciously.

Arsenal supporters, still reeling from the Dutchman’s callous decision to enhance his career by joining Manchester United, are not best pleased if comments on social media are anything to go by.

Some chose merely to tweet the word “C*NT”, others chose to align their ire with some form of vague threat.

Others still went to the trouble of pointing out that van Persie celebrating a goal against his former employers is akin to dressing children up as foxes, hunting them for sport and then feasting on their brains.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Barry, an Arsenal supporter from Crouch End, poured scorn on suggestions that a player can leave the Gunners and not be a c*nt.

He said: “That’s simply not true. Name me one player to have left us who isn’t a c*nt.

“Nasri? C*nt. Adebayor? C*nt. Ashley Cole? C*nt. All of them, c*nts to a man.

“It’s simply not on for any player to not pledge his undying devotion and subservience to Arsène Wenger from the moment their eyes first meet.

“I haven’t polled them but I would imagine that fans of other clubs would agree with me – except for Spurs and Chelsea ’cause they’re c*nts.

“And Birmingham – c*nts. And Stoke – super deluxe double c*nts.”

When asked how he felt about players maneuvering their way out of other clubs in order to join Arsenal, Barry shrugged and reasoned it to be “part of the game, innit?”.

Although the van Persie celebration took place on Sunday, the player is said to still be celebrating his winning goal, leading a mass conga line like that bloke in the advert for that thing.

It is understood that a throng of Arsenal fans has gathered on the other side of his garden fence, remonstrating furiously each time he cracks open another beer or turns the music up.

One onlooker said: “I’m mad as hell, but it actually looks kind of fun.

“There are dancing hula girls and waiters going round with trays of cocktails.

“I want to kill him, but then I also don’t want the music to stop.”

The van Persie celebration is expected to continue right through the international break.

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