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Twitter users arrange mass formal apology to Zlatan

Zlatan dares to Zlatan
Once again, Zlatan has dared to Zlatan (Image: Doha Stadium Plus Qatar)

Hundreds of thousands of Twitter users have reluctantly agreed to meet with Zlatan Ibrahimović and offer him some form of ritual apology for having written him off.

The social media addicts were left with egg on their collective face as the 35-year-old Swede bagged both goals in Man Utd’s 2-0 win at West Brom, taking his tally to 16 in all competitions.

While they still held out hope of being proved right even after his winner at Crystal Palace in midweek, they have now released a joint statement conceding they may have been “a trifle hasty” and that they may well be “tw*ts”.

Various forms of penance and/or deference have been put forward, with suggestions including kissing Zlatan’s feet, offering him home-baked bread while kneeling before him, and even a two-week fast.

Paul Pogba’s improved form will also be recognised in the form of a “mass sh*t haircut”.

One ashamed Twitter user said: “We’re all going to get really sh*t haircuts in solidarity.

“It’s going to be so gracious.”