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Townsends yank FA Cup magic out of velvet bag

Robin Williams was unavailable for comment but believed to be involved somehow.

By Jonny Abrams

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Robin Williams, perpetrator of FA Cup magic?
Williams… Involved somehow (Image: Steve Jurvetson)

Tottenham Hotspur and England winger Andros Townsend, and his father Troy, were left stunned yesterday as they reached into a velvet bag and yanked some FA Cup magic right out of it.

The magic, knockout-based, bounded forth from the bag like some hyperactive Disney genie and sprinkled ITV’s studio with fairy dust that landed in letters spelling out a quite ripping draw for the 5th round of the FA Cup.

In a shock twist, and then another shock twist, Premier League titans Manchester City were drawn against Premier League titans Chelsea, while Premier League titans Arsenal were pitted against Premier League titans Liverpool.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Townsends fielded some prosaic, frankly unnecessary questions about how magic the FA Cup is before reflecting on the magic they so unwittingly wove.

They chorused: “It was like Dynamo crossed with Fantasia, on acid.

“We even drew some lower league teams together so there’ll be a few of them knocking about in the quarter finals, laying down potential banana skins and plotting their fairy tale cup upsets.

“There seemed to be some magic in the air when we first pulled out of the bag a rabbit, then a comedically long series of handkerchiefs, then a succession of lampshades and items of furniture, then a bunch of flowers.

“We were stunned when the magic came out, literally stunned.”

Robin Williams was unavailable for comment but believed to be involved somehow.