The Games, bloody expensive, are all set to get in everyone’s way for the sake of a bit of running and jumping which let’s face it could be staged pretty much anywhere, a desert island or something, just cordon one off and name it Mount Olympics.
Although there’s a strange intrigue about claiming to look forward to the sight of people reducing themselves to puddles of sweat in a variety of whacky ways, chuck a ball in there and you’ve got yourself a viewer, mister, millions are quietly in accord with.
Steve said: “Second-string XIs from mediocre footballing nations suffering various penalty shoot-out indignities will seem positively balletic compared to the grunts of chunky men throwing things.
“I mean, I’m the kind of easily distracted moron who’ll watch Accrington Stanley against Kettering Town, or even listen to talkSPORT for crying out loud, just because they’re playing or talking about football.
“But even I can’t watch the long-jump without wanting to attempt risky surgical procedures on myself out of sheer boredom.”
Dave said: “Oh, you think you’re so smart with your tickets for the women’s beach volleyball, don’t you?
“Well, I get to watch it at home with close-up action replays.”
He added: “Really sweaty close-up action replays.”