Terry to Wear Chelsea Kit All the Time So It Looks Normal
- By Football Burp
Chelsea captain John Terry has revealed plans to spend the entire summer donning the club’s full strip so as to fool people into thinking that’s what he always does.
Terry, a Sagittarius, was the subject of widespread ridicule after kitting up and taking to the pitch in order to celebrate the winning of a Champions League final he took no part in, having been sent off in the semi-final at Barcelona for being a bit cheeky, the loveable rogue.
Suitably chastened, Terry confided to an undercover Football Burp reporter that he is prepared to carry on wearing the kit all summer, even while playing for England at Euro 2012, before reviewing the situation in the run-up to Christmas.
He said: “I’ve been nipping out to the shops in full kit, buying things I don’t even need and going out of my way to say ‘morning’ to as many people as possible.
“Today I think I’ll go feed the ducks and then do a spot of sightseeing before going to see The Dictator at the Odeon in Leicester Square, where I shall sit in the front row guffawing loudly and obnoxiously in between guzzling hands full of popcorn.
“I don’t even like popcorn.”
After pausing to polish his Champions League winner’s medal with his own spit, Terry continued: “That’s what normal people do, innit? I’ll just be a normal bloke doing normal things, except it just so happens that I’ll be decked in full Chelsea kit and boots.
“I’ll review the situation in December when Roberto Di Matteo gets the sack and I ask myself to replace him as manager.”