Southgate blames late England collapse on premature mannequin challenge

Fake News » Southgate blames late England collapse on premature mannequin challenge

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This statue does a better mannequin challenge than England's defence
STATUESQUE: Statue (Image: AngMoKio)

Gareth Southgate believes he was only a premature mannequin challenge away from maintaining a 100 per cent record as England manager.

Leading Spain 2-0 with 89 minutes played of last night’s friendly, England’s defenders broke into their own version of the celebration that followed Jamie Vardy’s earlier strike.

While the routine was carried out impeccably, it allowed Spain to level proceedings with two late strikes.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Southgate lay the blame squarely at the feet of his statuesque defenders.

He said: “That’s not what ‘statuesque’ means – go on, google it.

“In any case, to start celebrating before the final whistle is clearly foolhardy in the extreme, and it’s something we’ll have to work on.

“Unless of course we devise a new celebration called the concentration challenge, or the stay-in-your-bloody position challenge.

“It’s the fans who left early I feel most sorry for. Some of them still think we won.

“I can imagine them celebrating at the office this morning, just standing there, statuesque in jubilation.

“Heh, okay, it’s an easy mistake to make.”

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