Southampton to release DVD commemorating first few months of season

Fake News » Southampton to release DVD commemorating first few months of season

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Outgoing Southampton manager Mauricio Pochettino
Here’s Pochettino deciding whether to s**t or get off the pot (Image: Pedroserafin)

Southampton have announced plans to release a DVD commemorating the first few months of the 2013-14 season, back when they were bothering the top four and anchoring everyone’s Fantasy Football teams.

The days, halcyon, were this morning being recalled with bittersweet fondness by Saints fans despairing from the news that executive chairman Nicola Cortese has fled St Mary’s, with manager Mauricio Pochettino and every member of the playing staff apparently keen to follow suit.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Pochettino confirmed that each copy of Southampton: The Glory Months will come packaged with a free squad player, with the likes of Nathaniel Clyne and James Ward-Prowse believed to be up for grabs.

He said: “Es con pesar que debo anunciar mi salida de Southampton Football Club, junto con todos los jugadores. (It is with regret that I must announce my departure from Southampton Football Club, along with all the players.)

“Pero no te preocupes – si usted compra una copia del nuevo DVD, usted podría tener su propio Dejan Lovren para lucir en su repisa de la chimenea. (But don’t worry – if you buy a copy of the new DVD, you could have your very own Dejan Lovren to show off on your mantelpiece.)

“¿Te acuerdas de Lovren? Él ganó tantos puntos para su equipo de Fútbol de la Fantasía, cuando anotó el gol de la victoria contra el Liverpool. (Remember Lovren? He won so many points for your Fantasy Football team when he scored that winner against Liverpool.)

“Esos fueron grandes días. Honestamente pensé que podíamos ganar la liga. (Those were great days. I honestly thought we could win the league.)

“Bueno, adiós. (Well, goodbye.)”

Meanwhile, Luke Shaw has signed for Arsenal, Chelsea and both Manchester clubs.

He said: “It’s always been my dream to play for Arsenal, Chelsea and both Manchester clubs.

“I think we can all win the league.”

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