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Roberts reacts sarcastically to Ferguson grumble

By Jonny Abrams

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Jason Roberts MBE
Roberts MBE… Met with a grumble (Img: Hindleyite)
Sir Alex Ferguson’s grumbly mutterings about supporting the Kick It Out campaign have been met with extreme sarcasm by Reading forward Jason Roberts MBE.

The Manchester United manager, old, hit out at the Royals star for publicly suggesting that the anti-racism group might not be doing everything they could be, seeing as how football has become consumed by bigotry in a way comparable to that by which Simon Cowell has consumed any remnant of joy and light left on planet Earth.

Speaking to Football Burp, Roberts MBE exclusively announced the formation of his own anti-racism campaign, effective immediately.

He deadpanned: “I’m calling it the Would You Awfully Mind Stopping That, Please? campaign – I’ve placed an order for ten million wristbands bearing the acronym WYAMST,P?

“No, wait, I don’t think that name is forceful enough. How about calling it the I’m Ever So Sorry, My Friend, But I Don’t Feel Entirely Comfortable With Your Choice of Language, May We Share a Conciliatory Handshake? campaign.

“Excuse me, I must cancel the old wristband order. They’ll probably still charge me, but hey you can’t spend enough money on wristbands can you? If anything’s going to stop people being mad racists, it’s wristbands.”

He added: “And T-shirts, don’t forget T-shirts.”

Speaking to Football Burp immediately afterwards, Chelsea captain John Terry admitted that he thought the Kick It Out T-shirts handed to him and his team mates had been an instruction from the manager to keep it simple at the back.

He said: “If in doubt, kick it out, innit?”