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Racism in football claims fresh victim, police confirm

By Jonny Abrams

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Racism in football
Racism in football relaxes with a cigarette (Img: Thivierr)
Police have confirmed that racism in football is still at large and furthermore has claimed a new alleged victim.

The victim, Chelsea, allege that they were totally racisted by referee Mark Clattenburg after Sunday’s 3-2 defeat to Manchester United at Stamford Bridge, in what is already being described as a “shocking attack” by people who’ve seen one or two shocking attacks in their time but this one really takes the cake.

It is unclear at this stage how cast-iron evidence may be sourced by either party, but one thing seems to be certain: football’s all like totally allegedly racist, and that.

Tune in for information about who next allegedly racists who, and how badly.

Football Burp’s lawyer said: “I think that’s okay.

“If you hadn’t have put ‘allegedly’ then I’d have had one or two concerns – but you did, so I’m pretty sure that’s okay.

“I’m just guessing, really.”

Racism in football was unavailable for comment.