“QPR sign Ferdinand” is a headline that’s echoed through the ages, and now Harry’s Hoops have gone and signed the whole bleedin’ lot of ’em – even weird Uncle Jimbo.
The entire family, extended, were this morning jetting into Loftus Road from all corners of the globe as part of the deal which saw former England centre-back Rio join from Manchester United.
In signing for Queens Park Rangers, Rio follows in the footsteps of his brother Anton, uncle Les, Archduke Franz and great, great, grandfather Aloysius, who joined last week in a swap deal that saw Clint Hill take his place on a park bench in St Lucia.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Lucinda Ferdinand, aged 6 and a half, explained her projected role in Redknapp’s squad next year.
She said: “I suppose I’ll be providing cover for Shaun Wright-Phillips, but if I do get my chance then I’ll hope to grab it with both hands.
“It was very nice of Uncle Rio to insist on us all coming along, and nice of QPR to acquiesce. ‘QPR sign Ferdinand family’ could almost be the title of a children’s book, don’t you think?
“Rio’s actually my second cousin twice removed, but such is the disparity in our ages that I call him ‘Uncle’.
“Speaking of uncles, I was disappointed to see weird Uncle Jimbo appointed as director of football. He always smells of Special Brew and pickled herring, and writes letters of complaint to people who long ago stopped taking any notice of him.
“Between all of that and his weekends spent moonlighting as a women’s sumo wrestling referee, I just fail to see how he’ll find the time to direct much football.”
Rio Ferdinand was unavailable for comment as he was busy tweeting something asinine.