Pardew sacking “first predictable thing to happen in 2016”, claim experts

Fake News » Pardew sacking “first predictable thing to happen in 2016”, claim experts

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Alan Pardew poses with a fan before getting sacked
Pardew poses with a fan (Image: InSapphoWeTrust)

Experts in terms of what’s predictable or not have confirmed that Alan Pardew’s demise and eventual sacking at Crystal Palace is the first foreseeable thing to have happened all year.

Pardew continued his uncanny managerial record of starting strongly at a club before nosediving alarmingly for the duration of an entire calendar year.

His dismissal comes just days before Christmas, bringing 2016 to a close on an uncharacteristically familiar note.

Some have argued that such an unpredictable year ending on a note of predictability is in itself inherently unpredictable.

In any case, Pardew’s sacking is sure to give a warm, fuzzy glow to people who’d feared living out their days in a perpetual state of surprise.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, one expert admitted to being thoroughly sick of himself.

He said: “Michael Gove was right – I know, strange times.

“With any luck, Pardew will take over a relegation-threatened club in the new year, lead them to a top ten finish, get linked with the England job and then lose every single game for what feels like a decade.

“As things stand, it’s mankind’s only hope.”

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