Liverpool and Everton to discuss merging into one manageable shambles

Might make more sense to get thrashed jointly rather than separately.

Sound of West Ham fans’ boos set to reach pitch “sometime in 2023”

0-3 defeat to Brighton not received well by London Stadium faithful.

Brave fan who threw punch while carrying child rewarded with lifetime ban from Everton

"It's just a relief, really," says hero dad.

David Davis to consult Ronald Koeman on how much to pay to bow out of Europe

Brexit secretary impressed by speed of exit after £150m spending spree.

FA overtake England in Fifa’s world failure rankings

Handling of Eniola Aluko situation outshines even Three Lions showing at Euro 2016.

Spurs star Sissoko offers Deschamps lap dance in case he missed Real Madrid match

Midfielder concerned his national team coach wasn't watching him light up the Bernabéu.

Shakespeare losing job in wake of Storm Ophelia “definitely means something”

Omen thought to signify something "bloody important".

Mike Ashley sets Newcastle United asking price of two hundred thousand pints

Preferably premium lagers.

Kevin De Bruyne breaks world record for long-distance urination

Passes water into small plastic cup 55 metres away during 7-2 win over Stoke.

Troy Deeney to face no FA charge for stealing Laurent Koscielny’s lunch money

Watford forward also escapes action over Bellerín noogie.