Oxlade-Chamberlain and Gibbs separated in delicate medical procedure

Surgeons used "lots of anaesthetic and a big axe".

Mike Dean books own wife for having an orgasm

Referee sends shock waves through his marriage.

TEAM NEWS: Arsenal remain unchanged for 12th consecutive season

Gunners to line up with makeshift defence, undisciplined midfield, mercurial want-away forward and Giroud.

Diego Costa leaves Chelsea to focus on ongoing feud with Popeye

Striker calls time on Stamford Bridge spell to return to brutish cartoon villainy.

Chelsea mistakenly unveil Kieran Gibbs

Left-back once again confused for Oxlade-Chamberlain at Stamford Bridge.

Toy Story 2-0 Arsenal: Bank Holiday shock as Woody & Buzz put Gunners to the sword

4-0 defeat at Liverpool swiftly followed by shock slump at Pixar classic.

“Let me bounce back at West Ham or Crystal Palace,” roars Alan Pardew

Out-of-work boss issues rousing come-and-get-me plea at Norwich hotel.

Transfer window to be closed gently rather than slammed shut for safety reasons

Stern letter threatened.

Crushing disappointment to continue with England career

Long-standing emotion confirms it will remain with squad despite Rooney retirement.